SmackDown (8/16/16)

Contract Signing

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Randy Orton is with his GM and Commissioner in the back, ready to sign his contract for SummerSlam. He does so with full confidence.

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Heath Slater comes through with a fruit basket in an attempt to make up for his outburst last week. He throws Randy an apple and hopes that all is forgiven. It’s not, but Randy has a bright idea…..

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Miz TV (w/ Dean Ambrose & Dolph Ziggler)

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Dolph and Dean storm the set and the two have a lot on their minds. Before they can takeover the show and eventually throw fists, Miz gets control of things. He questions Dolph’s resurgence and his ability to follow through. Dean echoes those sentiments.

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Dolph isn’t about showing off anymore. He’s about proving. No amount of chips on his shoulder can hold him down come Sunday. And oh yeah, just like last week, Dean owes Dolph one.

During the Commercial Break

Crews

We missed it! Crews and Miz had their first face to face altercation and it comes just days before SummerSlam nonetheless. Crews gets the better of the IC champ tonight. Will Miz suffer the same fate come Sunday?

The Usos, American Alpha, & The Hype Bros Vs. Breezango, The Vaudevillains, & The Ascension – 12 Man Tag Team Match

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Six Heels Vs. Six Faces. I’m sure you know how this ends up. After The Usos go crazy, American Alpha ends it in Grand style. Game, Faces.

Eva Marie Vs. Naomi

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Hey! Naomi is back and ready for action! Everything glows in the dark now, seriously. Her hair, she has a mouthpiece, she has a glow in the dark body suit — she even had a bag of goodies! She passed out swag and flipped around as everything semi-glowed in the dark, it was awesome! When it was time for Eva Marie to come out, uhhh not so much. Apparently the Red Queen was stuck in traffic. That’s the third week in a row something has happened and she wasn’t able to compete. Good to see Naomi back!

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#BeatUpJohnCenaParty

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AJ Styles runs into Alberto Del Rio in the back. Since his boys are on RAW, he hasn’t had anyone to talk about beating up John Cena with! Del Rio is a wise guy. He knows what AJ is trying to do and he shuts it down quick. He doesn’t need someone to hype him up for a match, (Del Rio will be facing John Cena later on tonight.) especially when it’s someone that he barely knows! AJ makes a snarky remark about having a match at SummerSlam while Del Rio isn’t even on the card.After a momentary stare-off, AJ walks away.

Curt Hawkins

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Curt Hawkins is coming to SmackDown LIVE! I don’t know when, sometime soon. Too bad Shelton Benjamin is hurt. We would’ve loved to see him suit up for #TeamBlue again. Anyway, did you know that Curt Hawkins has counted to infinity twice? Crazy!

Randy Orton Vs. Heath Slater

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This must be the idea Randy had earlier! Give Heath another opportunity but this time against Orton. This can’t be right. Slater has already taken Ls from Jinder Mahal and Rhyno, and he visited Suplex City last night on RAW! The guy’s got heart. The match starts and Randy throws Heath around, beating him into a pulp. He pounds on Slater in the corner and the ref starts counting. The ref is trying everything in his strength to get Randy back but The Viper must be hearing voices. The ref has no choice but to call for the bell. Technically speaking, Heath Slater just beat Randy Orton? Anything can happen.

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Orton wasn’t done. He pummeled Slater all over the ring, throwing him over the announce table and hitting that Hangman’s DDT off the barricade before bringing him back into the ring.

 

Everyone is expecting an RKO but Randy gives us a German Suplex. He flexes his chest muscles and bounces in place, much like a BEAST that is exclusive to RAW. Shots fired? The Universe wouldn’t be disappointed as Randy does land an RKO before letting the poor man be. Orton just made a huge statement.

Wyatts?

One Man Band-Aid

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Heath is in the back on the trainer’s table after his ‘win’. Shane and Daniel drop by to check on him and maybe even congratulate him. After all the damage that Heath has absorbed over the past two days, his mind isn’t exactly in the right place. He claims that he beat up Brock AND Randy and showed them no mercy. Daniel likes the sound of that thus the PPV in October will be called, No Mercy. Been a while since we heard that PPV name thrown around. The Commish pulls out a contract and hands it to Slater. Heath just can’t seem to keep his big mouth shut! He goes on to mistake Daniel Bryan for Mick Foley and Shane McMahon for Stephanie. He takes a few digs at Daniel and calls ‘Stephanie’ beautiful. Shane takes exception to that and pulls the contract away from Slater when he closes his eyes. Heath Slater is STILL a free agent.

Rivalry Still on Pause

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If you recall, before his injury, Randy had some heat with The Wyatts. The beat him down and he was never quite able to get revenge. The Wyatts had come down almost immediately after the RKO so they crossed paths with Orton. There was a stare down and it looked like Bray said something to Orton. Perhaps there may be some unfinished business between The Viper and The Wyatts? Plot is oatmeal.

Dean Ambrose Vs. Erick Rowan (w/Bray Wyatt)

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Good to see Erick Rowan get some singles shine! I think that kick last week might’ve earned him this spot. A one on one with the champ? Nice gig. Now take this Dirty Deeds and I’ll See You Next Tuesday. See what I did there? Ambrose wins.

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After the match, Bray stares at Erick’s sheep mask. He stands up, places the mask in his rocking chair, and walks away. Did Bray just abandon one of his own?

Carmella & Becky Lynch Vs. Natalya & Alexa Bliss

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Tag team action in the Women’s Division! Becky Lynch comes in on a hot tag and she’s ripping it up. Then, everything goes red…..

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Eva Marie has overcome traffic and made it to the arena. She struts down the aisle with a smirk on her face. Before she can get halfway down the ramp, Naomi comes out. If Eva is here, maybe there’s still a match to be had?

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Eva wants none of Naomi. She backs away and runs around the ring, ending up inside. Naomi follows suit but Nattie dumps her out. Eva escapes, Nattie goes for the roll up on Becky, but Becky counters with the Dis-Arm-Her! Carmella and Becky win! What an odd turn of events.

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Don’t Be a Bully…

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For the second consecutive week, Baron Corbin has assaulted Kalisto backstage. He sends a stern message this time around. Every time Kalisto gets back up, he will be there to knock him down.

Squeeze In One More

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One more video about Lesnar & Orton. What’s that you say? We’ve seen this exact clip already. True.

Alberto Del Rio Vs. John Cena

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AJ Styles joins the guys at the announce table for a closer view of his SummerSlam opponent. He and Del Rio may not be very fond of each other but he’s pulling for him tonight to put a hurting on Cena.

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Cena and Del Rio have a match reminiscent of their Hell in a Cell bout. Del Rio goes for the Cross Armbreaker and Cena counters with an STF. Del Rio would eventually lock in that Armbreaker and Cena would counter with a Powerbomb. Much like last week against Orton, Del Rio put forth a valiant effort but this week he fell to the Attitude Adjustment.

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AJ is not pleased. He steps up on the apron and nails a celebrating Cena with a Phenomenal Forearm. He talks that talk one more time and almost leaves the ring. He’s worked himself up enough that he feels he needs to leave a true impression.

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Styles comes back to Cena and sets up for a Styles Clash. Cena counters with an AA! That wouldn’t be all. Cena throws the cover off the announce table and slams AJ’s head into the steel steps. He sets the stairs up close to the announce table and picks up AJ. AA through the announce table!

Now that’s what I call a statement!

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RAW (8/15/16)

The Man Vs. The Demon

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Seth Rollins is back at it again! Taunting Finn Bálor and his “demon” seems to be the way to go just 6 days before SummerSlam. Rollins seems lax. He has that smirk on his face and he’s ready to cause some trouble. He looks right in the camera and tells us that he’ll be calling out The Demon King tonight on RAW.

A Hostile Takeover

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Rusev and Lana commandeer the ring. Because of the actions of Roman Reigns last week, they refuse to let the show start until Reigns apologizes. Rusev has officially called out Reigns.

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Mick Foley is having none of this. He comes out immediately and addresses Rusev without even having a mic. Rusev demands respect and still refuses to leave. He claims that Reigns gets opportunity after opportunity and does nothing to deserve it. That actually may be true, but Rusev still needs to leave. He disregards Foley and calls for Stephanie to come out.

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Stephanie arrives and she has no time for any of this. She gets in Rusev’s face and let’s him have it. Disrespecting a legend like Foley will not be tolerated. Rusev isn’t backing down. He threatens to call Daniel Bryan and take his title to SmackDown LIVE. He needs respect and he demands it now!

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Roman Reigns comes out and offers a sarcastic apology. He gets in the ring and offers to throw down now. Foley steps between the two of them and declares that there will be a match tonight so that Rusev can defend the honor of his bride. The match for SummerSlam is still on and for now, cool heads have prevailed.

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Sheamus Pre-Match Interview

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Sheamus is asked about his actions at the end of RAW last week. He feels that he made his point, got his way, and he’s ready to move on. He has Sami Zayn in his sights now and he’s ready to unleash. He has no respect for what Zayn has accomplished so far but he’s been watching. He wants to teach Zayn a lesson. All of this over a tweet.

Sheamus Vs. Sami Zayn

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Cesaro is here to help call the match! He praises Sami Zayn and throws some shade on Sheamus as the match goes on.

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Zayn is flipping and Sheamus is slamming. Pretty much what you would expect from the two. Sheamus has the upper hand until Cesaro decides to pay him a visit. Cesaro climbs the steps and distracts Sheamus enough that he becomes unaware of his surroundings. He’s in a corner. Sami knows what to do when his opponent is standing in a corner.

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Sami Zayn wins and Cesaro smiles. Revenge.

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JERI-KO Interview

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Kevin Owens will be facing Big Cass tonight. They feel that it won’t be a one on one match because Y2J has Owen’s back. Forever a tandem. Owens calls Enzo & Cass a cancer to the locker room that can’t spell soft. Jericho tells Tom Phillips to watch ‘it’. Owens clarifies that ‘it’ is him beating Cass tonight and then he and Jericho winning at SummerSlam. Will ‘it’ actually happen?

A True Scrum

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Cesaro and Sheamus are verbally going at it in the back. Officials are on hand but emotions are high. Foley jumps in before things get physical. He admires the passion of both competitors after calling them both out two weeks ago. Foley doesn’t approve of these two interrupting matches and flexing on each other. He calls for a Best of 7 series. The first match will take place at SummerSlam.

The Dudley Boyz Vs. New Day

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The Dudleyz wait in the ring as Kofi and Xavier make their way to the ring. Once everyone is ready, Gallows and Anderson appear on the Titantron.

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Back at it again as ‘doctors’ I see. Still trying to get under the skin of New Day by any means necessary. Apparently, they’re trying to find a cure for Ringpostitis. They take one of the eggs that represent Big E’s….situation, and put it in a microwave. The match starts.

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In a quick one, Devon runs into Bubba and Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise. New Day win. The Titantron lights up again.

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The egg has exploded in the microwave! Gallows and Anderson claim that they need more test subjects. They place two jars on top of the microwave next to Big E’s. The jars have the names of the remaining New Day members. Kofi and Xavier take exception to these antics. With or without E, they are ready to use the power of positivity to come out on top this Sunday.

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The Demon King Hideth

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Seth Rollins is still on the hunt for the Demon King. He finds Neville instead. Neville tells him to watch himself. One may think they’re ready for the Demon, but they’d be wrong.

Nia Jax Vs. Rachel Levy

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Rachel is nervous but inspired. She’s been watching the Olympics and she feels that maybe she too can overcome insurmountable odds.

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Well after taking a crazy spill, she suffers a predictable defeat. Jax rolls on.

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Heyman No Hustle

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We see Paul Heyman walking with his chest puffed and his head held high. He enters The Beasts Lair. There will be a Lesnar sighting.

Suplex City

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Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman enter the ring. Just before Heyman can get a word out, music hits.

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Heath Slater has crashed the party. Heyman calls him crazy. Slater for some crazy reason wants a One on One match with Brock Lesnar. Slater feels that going face to face with Lesnar may get him a contract on RAW. Paul tries to spare him after a few laughs.

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Lesnar gets on the mic and asks Slater a few questions. He brings up Slater’s kids and then says he doesn’t give a care in the world about them. He gives Slater two options. He can walk away now, or stand there and inevitably be dismantled. It appears that Slater chooses to walk but he tries to attack Lesnar. Lesnar sees it coming and destroys him. After a couple German Suplexes and an F-5 Slater is outta here.

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Heyman re-enters the ring and speaks his piece on Randy Orton as planned. Beast and Boss, out.

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Kevin Owens (w/Chris Jericho) Vs. Big Cass (w/Enzo)

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Of course Enzo and Cass speak their piece on why they are the better team. They have every intention on winning in their own back yard and they have more of a tag team history on their side.

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Cass has yet to fight a match he wasn’t ready for. Owens is bringing it to him, but Cass is giving it right back. Everyone ends up outside the ring and Jericho takes out Enzo from behind. When Cass runs down Owens, Jericho attack him as well. Cass wins via DQ. JERI-KO beat Cass down and bring him into the ring. Owens hits him with a Super Kick and Y2J hits him with a Codebreaker. JERI-KO lost the battle but they’re winning the war.

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Roman Reigns Interview

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Reigns is ready to fight and apparently so is Rusev! During an interview, Rusev assaults Reigns from behind. More heat heading into SummerSlam.

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The Primetime Players (w/Coach Backlund) Vs. The Shining Stars

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Reunion? Apparently during the RAW Pre-Show Titus apologized for his actions. He wanted a one week reunion match and Coach Backlund agreed! The Primetime Players music hits and the fighters (plus coach) walk out. The match starts and Young is in the ring. Coach Backlund and Titus are having a conversation. Darren bounces off the ropes and bumps into Titus knocking him off the apron.

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Titus gets up and in a rage, attacks Young, planted him with Clash of the Titus. Titus walks away visibly upset. The Shining Stars look at each other before going for a pin. They win another match without having to try hard. Coach Backlund is befuddled. It wasn’t but five minutes ago that he, Darren, and Titus were all dancing!

The Cruiserweights Are Coming!

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Just another reminder. Head over to the network and watch the CWC if you haven’t already.

Jinder Mahal Vs. Neville

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Jinder Mahal is back! He’s a really tall guy and he looks even taller in the ring with Neville. During the Pre-Show, Mahal told Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas that he would do something they never could: win. He almost did just that when he kicked Neville the same way he kicked Heath in order to get his contract.

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The kick wouldn’t be enough and Neville would go on to win the match. What’s next for Jinder Mahal? Is he destined to be somewhere at or near the bottom of the card? Or is this the beginning of a new Jinder?

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The Search Continues

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Seth Rollins’ search for the Demon King brings him to the Commish and the GM. We hear the end of a conversation between the two and it sounds like Jon Stewart will be back at SummerSlam this year. Rollins asks for the night off and Stephanie thinks it’s okay. Foley thinks that Rollins should go to the ring and call out the Demon King. He’s searched everywhere but the most obvious place. He calls down for the tech guys to hit Rollins music.

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Rollins gets in the ring and does exactly what he says he would do. He calls out the Demon King. No one and shows, and nothing happens. Rollins claims that Bálor or the Demon King or whomever he claims to be is scared.

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The lights start to flicker and weird sounds are heard. Seth stops talking and we see red lights and smoke. It’s starting to sound like a live beating heart. The Demon King is here!

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Rollins and the Demon King stand face to face, toe to toe. Rollins says a few words and attacks the Demon. The Demon strikes back! He gets the better of Rollins and almost hits a Coup de Grace! Rollins rolls out of the ring and the Demon flies. He takes out Rollins and slides back in the ring. Rollins flees in fear. He has finally met The Demon King. Ask and you shall receive.

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GoldenTruth Vs. Gallows & Anderson

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Always nice to see R-Truth and Goldust. The good news for tonight is that they, like Mahal, were competitive! They didn’t just come out and fall flat like the Dudleyz. The Club would eventually win via Magic Killer, but a good showing goes a long way.

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After the match, Gallows and Anderson share a laugh before being attacked from behind. The New Day want to show that they mean business. Gallows is knocked out of the ring and Anderson is left in a compromising situation. Woods grabs Francesca II and looks to avenge his fallen brother. Gallows saves his partner.

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Dana, Dana, Dana…

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Dana Brooke apologizes to Charlotte for not coming through last week against Sasha Banks. Charlotte knows that Dana doesn’t want to lose the spotlight she provides. She blatantly disrespects Dana and tells her to kick rocks in flip flops. It seems that Charlotte may have an opening for coattail rider. What is Dana to do? No longer a protege with no healthy friends to boot.

Charlotte Vs. Alicia Fox

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Sasha joins the guys at the desk for this match. She wants to shut Charlotte up once and for all. Charlotte hasn’t given her the respect she deserves and she plans on making that happen.

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Meanwhile in the ring, Alicia gets flipped, kicked, and pinned after being hit by Natural Selection. The match was over before it even started. Charlotte calls Sasha down to the ring. Sasha is not one to back down so she obliges.

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Sasha approaches Charlotte but is attacked by Dana Brooke. It was all a farce! Sasha fends off Brooke but Charlotte attacks her at the knee. She locks in the Figure 8 and Dana taunts and kicks Sasha. Charlotte won’t break the hold and officials don’t quite know what to do. Charlotte finally releases the hold and the damage is done. This attack will more than likely factor in come Sunday.

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Braun Strowman Spot

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The Jobber Crusher! The Destroyer of all things Local! Braun Strowman. No match tonight but the guys in the truck put together a nice video package of him. Name one person he beat in the New Era. Go ahead!

Rusev (w/Lana) Vs. Roman Reigns

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Reigns waste little to no time jumping on Rusev. He wants revenge after being attacked from behind. Rusev is still a very angry man and he has a motive; hurt Reigns before their match on Sunday.

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Rusev would work on Roman’s arm for the majority of the match and after several kicks, lock in the Accolade. He’s got it in deep and Reigns is straining. Where most men would tap or pass out, somehow Roman Reigns reaches the ropes!

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Rusev has done all he can do and he’s losing it. He bounces off the ropes and catches a Spear. Roman Reigns wins. Will this be the fate of the US champ atSummerSlam?

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SmackDown 8/9/16

The Wyatt Family owned the show last week, ending SmackDown LIVE with a beating to both the champion and the number one contender. Lesnar brought the pain to Orton all the way from RAW, and American Alpha made their debut. That’s what we’re building with tonight!

Viperville Rio!

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Everyone is buzzing about the Orton/Lesnar match up. It’s getting annoying. It’s like a TV with ESPN on all day. Same regurgitated story all day long from different mouths. Orton arrives to the arena only to be faced with more Lesnar talk.

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All of this is interrupted by Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio has grown tired of all the SummerSlam talk as well and it’s been reported that he and Orton will be facing off tonight. Del Rio plans on sending Orton to SummerSlam with a broken arm.

The Enemy of My Enemy is STILL My Enemy

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Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan are in the ring. Bray is complaining about the recent turn of events. Dean Ambrose comes out and calls him a crybaby. He wants to run in and fight, but he knows better. Apparently, Ziggler doesn’t. He comes out, walks right past Dean Ambrose, and zips straight to the ring. He gets beat up on until Ambrose joins. Rowan goes down and Ziggler is in the corner. Bray gets ready to deliver Sister Abigail to Dean. Dolph goes for a Super Kick and he hits Dean instead. Whoops!

Screw You!

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After getting themselves handled by The Wyatts, Dean & Dolph have a bit of a conversation in the back. Ambrose isn’t so sure that Super Kick wasn’t intentional. He tells Ziggler that he owes him one. Shane and Daniel walk by and book a match for the main event. Ziggler and Ambrose will face the Wyatts.

American Alpha Vs. Mikey O’Shea & Mike Vega (Local Competitors)

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Ready for another brief showcase of skill and talent? Another beat down on some locals? Well so are a lot of the tag team division. The Ascension, The Hype Bros, and The Vaudevillains come down and surround the ring like lumberjacks. Why be a fly on the wall when you can BE the wall?

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The match itself took maybe 3 minutes and that’s because Alpha prolonged it. After they hit Grand Amplitude and the Mikes left the ring, the guys on the main roster step up.

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A full on brawl ensues with Alpha standing tall at the end. If SmackDown LIVE DOES come up with some new tag titles, Alpha have got to be the front runners.

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#AllRedEverything

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It looks like the next action we’ll be seeing in the ring will involve Eva Marie. Are you ready?

Let’s Talk Some Smack

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Renee Young sits with Miz and Maryse to discuss Miz’s title defense against Apollo Crews. Miz is more interested in talking about how beautiful his wife is. Nothing wrong with that, it’s just Miz being Miz.

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A video montage of Apollo Crews plays and when we get back to Renee and company at the table, Miz and Maryse have decided to express their love for each other in a very public way.

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Miz compares Maryse’s beauty to that of legend and Maryse speaks to Renee on her husband’s behalf. According to Maryse, no rookie will beat her husband so Crews is not to be considered a threat.

Becky Lynch Vs. Eva Marie

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It’s time! Last week was supposed to be Eva’s first match back on the main roster in quite some time. She can’t hide behind Nia Jax anymore and the Universe is clearly against her. You can’t really go off of the crowd reaction because what they want is so specific. Roman Reigns hasn’t had a bad match in over a year yet they boo him mercilessly. That’s a different show so let’s get back to the SmackDown Live debut of #AllRedEverything.

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Eva enters the ring and this time, she DOES NOT injure herself hopping down from the second rope. This time, her top mysteriously comes off and she yells for a towel.

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She runs to the back and Becky is left in the ring for the second consecutive week. The referee calls the match off before it could even begin.

Becky Lynch Vs. ???

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Becky is furious. She just wants a match! It’s understandable. She takes her frustration to the mic an issues an open challenge to any woman in the back willing to throw down.

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Luckily for Becky, Alexa Bliss is willing to fill in. Eva’s debut has turned into Alexa’s! Midway through the match, Eva Marie comes back out fully covered and ready to go.

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The all red moment was enough to distract Becky Lynch allowing Alexa to hit her with a chokeslam followed by Twisted Bliss. Win for the rookie!

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Eva didn’t mean any harm to Becky or Alexa and she seemed genuinely disappointed that she was unable to compete. She said a few words right after Alexa’s match and promised to try again next week.

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Randy Orton Vs. Alberto Del Rio

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Orton and Del Rio as the third match? Seems a bit early in the show. Anyway, great match! Del Rio was true to his word and worked on Orton’s arm. There was vintage Orton, there was innovative Orton.

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After Randy hit his patented hangman DDT, he was gearing up for an RKO. Del Rio was able to roll out and escape. Orton chased him to the timekeeper’s area where Del Rio assaulted him with a chair. Orton wins by DQ but there’s more pain to come.

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After a few chair shots outside the ring, Orton escapes to the comforts of the squared circle. He nurses his wounds while Del Rio has a moment with a few of the fans. Del Rio slides into the ring and walks up on Orton only to be met with an RKO. It wasn’t quite out of nowhere but it did seem like time stopped for about half a second.

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As great as Del Rio is, he’s no Brock Lesnar. If Orton struggled here, how does he think he can hang with a BEAST?

Slater Pleads

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Heath Slater may act like he loves being a free agent, but deep down (heck, maybe even on the surface) he knows he wants to be tied to a brand. He’s scheduled to have a match with Rhyno tonight and if he wins, he gets a contract to be included on the SmackDown LIVE roster. He comes to Rhyno in the back and tries to cut a deal. Slater mentions his 2 kids and swimming pool he has to pay for. Rhyno takes a second to think about it, asks about the kids and the swimming pool, and pauses. Slater brings up his 4 kids again. Rhyno makes a face and says, “I thought you said you had two kids?” Slater looks down with guilt. No dice Heathy baby.

A Bone to Pick With Scooby Doo

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The Miz approaches Scooby Doo and he has an issue. Miz wants to know why he isn’t on the cover of the DVD. He demands that all the movies be pulled off shelves and be replaced with new copies featuring himself on the cover. Scooby tries to calm Miz down with some Scooby Snacks he has in the Mystery Machine. He invites Miz in and locks him inside. Scooby somehow got his hands on the Miz’s car keys and drives off in his car.

Rhyno Vs. Heath Slater

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The cards are stacked against Heath Slater and Rhyno is here to Gore them down. It won’t be smooth sailing for either Superstar. Rhyno is a monster and Heath is fighting for his career.

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Slater looks really good out there! He’s never looked better as a singles Superstar. It’s looking like he might just win. He’s willing to do so by any means necessary which includes cutting corners, poking eyes, and using the ropes for leverage.

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The ref counts two before he notices Slater using the ropes for an unfair advantage. He stops the count and a disheveled Heath Slater starts to panic. He loses sight of the goal and of his opponent. Bad move.

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Rhyno wins. I think we should all take a step back and let Heath have a moment.

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Wyatt Family Values

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Bray Wyatt is one of the greatest speakers this side of the year 2000. With Erick Rowan still in his hand, The Wyatts are still a force to be reckoned with. Bray ignites a flame within Rowan, encouraging him to die for the cause. the cause being….. I guess Bray Wyatt? Rowan is down for that cause.

The Hottest Free Agent

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Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon are in the back discussing Heath Slater. Daniel Bryan has an unsigned contract and he wants Slater to sign. Shane is uncertain but Daniel wants Slater for his heart and never-say-die mentality. He feels that it’s a great representation of what #TeamBlue stands for. Shane buys in and Heath Slater approaches furious. Heath feels disrespected that he even had to fight for his job. Daniel Bryan is trying to tell him about the contract but Slater has too much steam. He PG curses (yeah, that’s a thing) Shane and Daniel out before storming out. Heath Slater successfully walked away from a guaranteed contract. What is Slater going to do about his 7 kids now?

Carmella Vs. Natalya

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Carmella and Natalya aren’t strangers. Nattie did a lot of work with the new class of women down in NXT. Nattie probably taught Carmella a lot in Florida, and if not, she’s teaching her tonight. Carmella can’t get the ball rolling and Nattie is looking like the top woman in SmackDown. Carmella hung in there waiting for an opening. She had just enough left in the tank to lock in the Code of Silence and make Nattie tap. I guess it’s true when they say it only takes one mistake.

Cena/Styles Build

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Neither Cena nor Styles have a match tonight. Instead we’re stuck seeing clips of their feud from previous matches…..again.

One Wolf, Pack Pride

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Commotion in the back. Baron Corbin has attacked Kalisto again. Staff and officials are trying to break it up. Corbin looks down at a battered Kalisto and tells him, “That’s for making me lose the IC title opportunity.” Well okay. We’re attacking people in the back for our own shortcomings now? Gotcha.

Dean Ambrose & Dolph Ziggler Vs. The Wyatts

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The match starts with a bit of chest puffing. Ambrose and Ziggler both want to start the match and end up being attacked by The Wyatts. Based on how that ends up, Ambrose and Bray become the legal men.

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New Era or not, there’s no way the front runners on SmackDown LIVE were going to lose heading into SummerSlam. Erick Rowan still has a nice spin kick.

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It wasn’t easy but Ambrose and Ziggler manage to pull off the victory. Ziggler pats Ambrose on the back and congratulates him. Ambrose must’ve been broke because he cashed in Ziggler then and there. Dirty Deeds. He told Ziggler he owed him one, now they’re even.

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One more show before SummerSlam.

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RAW 8/8/16

Bada Boom

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Enzo & Cass start us off tonight and Y2J is the topic of discussion. Enzo is a bit salty about the sneaky Codebreaker he received after the mixed tag match, as well as all the blockage coming from Jericho when he was trying to holla at Sasha Banks. Jericho comes out with his new buddy and it’s his turn to speak.

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Y2J has an axe to grind as well. He feels that Enzo does a lot of talking but when it comes down to it, Cass does all the dirty work. He knows he can’t beat these guys on his own so he’s formed an alliance with Kevin Owens.At some point we may see a tag match but for now we’ll be seeing Enzo Vs. Jericho. Owens and Cass will stay at ringside for support.

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Chris Jericho (w/Kevin Owens) Vs. Enzo Amore (w/Big Cass)

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Jericho and Enzo square off. The blood is starting to smell questionable but I wouldn’t call it bad just yet. Enzo has some fight in him but Jericho has more. After fighting out of The Walls, Enzo is making a comeback. Things are looking up for Mr. Amore until Owens grabs his leg from outside.

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That’s just enough of a distraction for Jericho to land a Codebreaker. Before things start looking lopsided, Cass interjects. He nails Jericho with a Big Boot giving Jericho the win via DQ. Jeri-KO summon their inner Bo Dallas as they celebrate ‘their’ victory. Cass wants some action. He challenges Jeri-KO to a tag team match at SummerSlam and they accept.

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Boss Problems

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Sasha Banks has had enough of Dana Brooke interfering in her matches with Charlotte. She finds Mick Foley and asks for a handicap match. Foley does her one better. He sets up a one on one match, Banks Vs. Brooke. If Sasha wins, Dana Brooke will be banned from ringside at SummerSlam. If Sasha loses, her match at SummerSlam becomes a Handicap match. Sasha accepts with a smile on her face.

Braun Strowman Vs. Jorel Nelson

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Byron Saxton is having a lot of fun asking these local competitors what’s going through their mind every week before they face Braun Strowman. This week, the guy is so scared that he has absolutely nothing to say! He takes his beating like a man and Strowman even drags him a bit. It looked like that Hulk/Loki scene from The Avengers. Ouch.

Puff in the House

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Diddy makes his first appearance of the night and so do New Day! Minus Big E of course. Diddy invites Foley to the Bad Boy Reunion Tour and gives him tickets. The New Day come in and Diddy asks about the status of Big E. The four pass around a box of Booty Os while Kofi raps about how bald The Club is. Kofi and Xavier ask for Puff’s assistance and he obliges.

Titus O’Neil Vs. Darren Young (w/Coach Backlund)

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The match starts with a show of disrespect from both men, a slap battle. That old Primetime Players rivalry is brewing again. Titus is just a physical specimen. Darren shouldn’t stand a chance. It’s looking like it’s gonna be a repeat of last week when Darren rolls Titus up and pulls his tights returning the favor! Of course Coach Backlund was conveniently looking away while all of this was happening. Young steals a victory.

Rollins Speaks

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Seth Rollins truly feels some type of way about Finn Bálor. He doesn’t like his ‘arrogance’ and his blatant lack of respect for all of Rollins accomplishments. Rollins even goes as far as breaking down the name Finn Bálor and explaining what it means. Finn means Famous Warrior and Bálor, Demon King. Last week, Bálor accused Rollins of being privileged and having his title opportunity handed to him. Rollins believes that everything he’s done in the past and the way he returned from injury are reason enough to be in the match. Everything that Finn has impressed the WWE Universe with, Rollns has done first and done it better. Rollins claims that at SummerSlam he’ll just be adding to his already stacked legacy.

Sheamus Vs. Cesaro

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It’s revealed that Mick Foley wants this match to happen again. He wants more physicality and a dominant victory. After the brawl that occurred last week, we should hopefully be in for a good one.

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Cesaro/Sheamus II of the New Era is a classic! True strong style with a modern twist. Cesaro tries a Neutralizer using the same counter from last week but Sheamus wouldn’t let that happen two weeks in a row. Sheamus goes for a Brogue that Cesaro is able to duck and slide under for a roll up which Sheamus kicks out of.

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Things get wacky after Cesaro Irish Whips Sheamus into the corner. The ref is caught in the middle of the two and takes an awkward shot to the eyes when Sheamus reaches over him. A stiff elbow catches Cesaro and Sheamus rolls him up for a pin. The ref is still getting his eyes sorted out and is unable to count for Sheamus. Upset, Sheamus starts yelling at the ref, providing Cesaro with an opportunity for a roll up. This time, the ref is okay enough to count and Cesaro comes away with a victory.

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Orton/Lesnar Origins

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Just so we’re clear here, these guys aren’t friends nor do they have much respect for each other. It may have been kayfabe but it definitely came off like a shoot. Both sides are ready and have points to prove. This is shaping together nicely.

The Dudley Boyz Vs. Neville & Sin Cara

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Two high flyers team up to take on a couple of brothers from Dudleyville! The Dudleyz just haven’t been the same since facing Enzo and Cass. Actually, most Superstars representing the New Era have had their way with The Dudleyz. Today wouldn’t be much different. Neville has a gift for Devon. It rhymes with Fed Sparrow.

Rusev & Lana Wedding Celebration

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The ring is all decked out with cake and a red carpet and frilly curtain drapey things. Lana and Rusev are dressed very nicely and they brag about their love that no one is interested in. They show a slideshow of their weekend wedding. The Universe is not really into this. Neither is someone in the back.

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Roman Reigns crashes the party and the WWE Universe isn’t sure if they should boo him as usual, or cheer for saving the day. Reigns has good intentions. He was in the back watching the video clips like everyone else and saw that Rusev didn’t have a best man. He took it upon himself to fill that role. Really, it was all just a ploy to ask for a title shot. Rusev denied the request and Reigns decided to roast the newlyweds. RuRu didn’t take kindly to this and put a hurting on Reigns. Reigns was able to retaliate and push Rusev backwards. Rusev bumped into Lana and Lana into the cake! Frosting everywhere, Reigns out. Lana is pink and upset, Rusev is chest hair and anger.

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Foley is G..M

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Rusev and Lana find GM Foley in the back and demand he do something about Roman Reigns’ interruption and the hot pink mess that is Lana. Foley first tells Rusev to take responsibility for his actions (bumping into Lana) and then tells him that he can have his revenge by

Sasha Banks Vs. Dana Brooke (w/Charlotte)

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Charlotte accompanies her protege for this one. Dana has taken so many Ls against Sasha that she should be worried. Charlotte is feeling the pressure of being the challenger and probably regrets exiling her father. Dana is her support system. Dana is her security blanket. Dana is actually looking good in this match. She’s more than holding her own and taking control of this match.

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Heels are gonna Heel so it was only a matter of time before Charlotte decided to get in the mix. Dana’s been coached very well and to thank her mentor, she brings Sasha to the ropes so that Charlotte can score a cheap shot. Sasha is able to duck it and Charlotte would strike Dana instead. Before Charlotte can react, Sasha catches her with a kick. Dana tries a shoulder thrust but misses. She gets hung up on the ropes and Banks is able to score a victory thanks to a pair of knees to the midsection. The Boss makes a statement without using the Bank Statement.

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Bálor: The Demon King

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Finn Bálor gives us a deeper look into his history, his culture, and the origin of his name. He speaks deeply about legendary Irish warriors and demons. A very well spoken and passionate telling. He’s not arrogant, he’s confident. He’s by no means a fluke. Seth Rollins has gotten under his skin enough that Bálor believes it’s time for him to introduce Seth Rollins to the Demon. The Demon King will be at SummerSlam.

Ringpost-itis

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Gallows and Anderson are back at it again. Have you ever seen a tag team so goofy and dangerous? Kofi had better watch out. Word on the street is that he will be the next person to suffer from Ringpost-itis.

Luke Gallows (w/Karl Anderson) Vs. Kofi Kingston (w/Xavier Woods)

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Kofi Kingston has a bunch of spunk but Fake Kane is a force. A couple of flips and kicks may have shaken up the big man, but Gallows squashes Kingston  like a bug. Luke ends the match with a Flapjack of all moves.

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Just as advertised, there’s more action to be had! Gallows and Anderson look to make sure that Kofi suffers the same fate that Big E has. Where ya at Woods? The Club line up Kingston for the fatal blow but Woods comes flying in with a chair, the great equalizer. New Day, the titles, and all of their body parts are safe….for now.

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Golden Truth, Where Are You?

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Goldust runs into Scooby Doo and the Mystery Machine! R-Truth hops out of the Mystery Machine shouting some mumbo jumbo about flies. Truth is shocked to see Goldust with Scooby and it makes him a little jealous. Truth tries to fight Scooby but Goldust breaks it up. Somehow Goldust gets everyone to play nice and bond over some Scooby Snacks.

From GM to GM

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Daniel Bryan is here. Yes? The goal is to create a tradition of brotherhood and put an end to all these Lesnar/Orton cross-brand shenanigans. It’s supposed to be a battle on paper, not one by mouth or interruption. The GMs claim to be on the same page but they can’t stop taking digs at each other. Foley calls Bryan out for being phony and making fun of the name for RAW’s new heavyweight title. Apparently, someone on the RAW roster agrees.

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Rusev comes out (in ring attire for some reason) to defend his brand and his GM. Daniel Bryan thinks he’s sucking up to Foley to get out f his match with Roman Reigns. Rusev doesn’t take these words lightly. He threatens to crush Daniel Bryan. Luckily for DB, he’s saved by the siren.

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Cesaro takes this moment to interject. He feels that based on what Mick said last week, he deserves a title shot soon. Daniel Bryan takes a moment to add his two cents on how RAW has (or hasn’t) been using Cesaro. Foley doesn’t want these problems so he grants Cesaro a title match, here and now.

Cesaro Vs. Rusev – United States Championship Match

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Cesaro comes out quick, trying to put Rusev away immediately. They go back and forth until Cesaro eventually gets Rusev swinging. He locks in a Sharpshooter and it appears that Rusev might just tap.

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Sheamus runs down the ramp looking to interfere. Cesaro thwarts that attempt but takes a kick to the head from the United States champ. Rusev covers, two count.

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Rusev goes for The Accolade but Cesaro counters, pushing him into the referee and Sheamus. Cesaro hits a Dutch Neutralizer but the ref isn’t there to count. By the time the ref gets up, it’s only a two count.

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Rusev pokes Cesaro in the eye and he falls almost out of the ring. Sheamus kicks Cesaro from outside and Cesaro is again met with a kick but from the inside. Rusev wins.

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After turning what seemed like a bad night into a victory, Rusev is on top of the world.

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And then the Big Dog comes and ruins it for him. No heel turn necessary.

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SmackDown (8/2/16)

The First 30 Minutes

In case you missed it, SmackDown LIVE Superstar Randy Orton ended RAW last night with a bang. You can read about that and other shenanigans from last night’s RAW here.

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It appears that both the GM and Commissioner of SmackDown are not too pleased with the Viper’s slithery ways. Shane knows that Lesnar will not be taking the situation lightly and it wouldn’t be above the Beast Incarnate to make an appearance on SmackDown. This IS where Lesnar first kicked his career off making a name for himself and becoming a Champion. Randy may want to watch his back and Shane definitely needs Orton healthy with the lack of household names on the SmackDown Live roster. So what’s the solution?

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Security. Because it’s worked in the past, right? Orton isn’t taking this whole thing seriously. Clearly he proved last night that he’ll be fine with or without anyone’s assistance. Exit stage right.

Shane and Daniel don’t seem to care what Orton thinks. It’s their job to make sure that all of their staff and Superstars are safe from outside interference. They disperse the security and continue down their path until they hear the voice of a whiny champion.

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The Miz seems to have a problem with the way he was treated after his ‘victory’ at Battleground. I mean, he DID bring the title back to SmackDown and he was a pretty high draft pick. Ambrose was literally lifted by the entire roster and Miz’s match left everyone wondering what just happened. Daniel Bryan tells Miz right to his face that he drafted the title and not the person. Speaking of title, Miz needs a #1 contender for SummerSlam so Bryan sets up a Triple Threat match that will take place tonight to determine that. The contenders? Baron Corbin, Apollo Crews and Kalisto.

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How does everyone know where to find Shane and Daniel? This is getting ridiculous. This time it’s Dean Ambrose and he just volunteered to kick off the show with a few words.

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All Superstars Matter?

Ambrose enters the ring and it’s clear he still has a chip on his shoulder. He invites Dolph Ziggler to the ring to share it with him.

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Ziggler is clearly not dressed for a match or anything and he comes down to the ring as humble as can be. No showing off, just simply showing up. Dean Ambrose doesn’t seem to care. He just wanted to tell Ziggler to his face that he will not be losing his title anytime soon. He talks about scratching and clawing his way up the roster and realizing and living his dream. Ambrose believes that Dolph is too worried about showing off and getting the approval of the WWE Universe and the locker room.

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Ziggler takes exception to these words, seeing as he got his first push as a member of the Spirit Squad. You want to talk about scratching and clawing? Ziggler was once a caddy for Kerwin White aka Chavo Guerrero. Ambrose came in as the leader of The Shield. He walked into the company as a favorite and practically had main event status handed to him while Dolph had to wrestle on well, WWE Main Event! There’s no denying the struggles both Superstars had to overcome, the REAL question is who will walk out of SummerSlam with the gold?

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Ambrose has heard we he needed to hear and said his piece. He leaves. Commercial break? Not quite.

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I’m Here to Show the WORLD

And just like that,  Bray Wyatt appears and steals the show. Kind of ironic. Bray doesn’t feel like Dolph deserves his status as the number one contender so he offers Dolph a challenge. A match tonight. He wants Ziggler to put his status as the number one contender on the line. There are officially buzzards to follow.

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After a commercial break, Ziggs finds the two most findable people in the history of hide and go seek, Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan. He’s livid. Ziggler doesn’t believe that anyone is in his corner and he feels obligated to prove himself. Prove himself to everyone including the guys who drafted him. He demands that Shane and Daniel book the match Bray Wyatt is asking for. Shane calls it a deal and Ziggler storms off. Was Dean Ambrose right about Dolph? Did he just make the biggest mistake of his career?

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Baron Corbin Vs. Kalisto Vs. Apollo Crews – #1 Contender Match

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Miz and Maryse take a front row seat for this bout. With one of these guys being the Miz’s next big challenge, it’s only right. The match starts and Corbin is punching everyone. He almost punches himself. There are no scenarios in which teamwork is a thing, and it’s clearly and truly every man for himself.

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Crews is down after a Deep 6. He some how managed to kick out. Kalisto and Corbin duke it out with Corbin immediately getting the upper hand. Corbin goes between both men throwing punches until Crews is able to fight back. Down goes Crews again. Corbin turns around and catches a flying Kalisto. Corbin carries him close to the ropes and Crews kicks him in the back of the head with a Drop kick. Kalisto flips Corbin over the top rope and Crews rolls him up from behind. Three count! Apollo Crews is the new #1 contender for the IC championship.

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That wouldn’t be the end of things. An angry Baron Corbin takes out his frustrations on Kalisto. Crews runs back to the ring to help. Crews gets Corbin in the corner but is blindsided by The Miz. Miz plants Crews with a Skull Crushing Finale.

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As he stands over Crews, Miz doesn’t sense a dark presence behind him. What is it you might be asking?

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The End of Days.

Becky Lynch Vs. Eva Marie

Yeah! The women’s division is alive and strong on SmackDown! There may not be a title but there is fierce competition. Becky is clearly a front runner here, and Eva Marie is….nice to look at? I personally believe she’s gotten better over time but it’s been a while since she’s been in the ring. Will there be rust? And what new tricks does she have under her sleeve?

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Uhhh…… what is going on?

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I don’t understand.

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Is this for real?

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Is she okay?

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So maybe next time?

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Speedy recovery Eva.

Maybe she wasn’t ready? I’m not sure if this is legit or not. We have no choice but to wait and see. If she truly hurt herself, we witnessed it live when she jumped down off the ropes.

How You Doin’?

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Renee Young is in the studio and she has a special guest with her.

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It’s Carmella! No time to miss Enzo & Cass. She’s a rising star here on SmackDown. She’s not buying Eva’s potential injury, and Nattie isn’t buying her. Natalya is jealous that Renee didn’t invite her in to talk. Nattie is the self-proclaimed leader of the women here on SmackDown and she doesn’t like Carmella’s attitude. Not enough boot kissing. Carmella is the Princess of Staten Island and royalty doesn’t back down. She challenges Nattie to a match tonight.

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The Vaudevillains Vs. American Alpha

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American Alpha has finally made it to the main roster! Wow. It’s like watching NXT. The Vaudevillains unfortunately don’t get the same love they did in NXT. Maybe the novelty has worn off? Or maybe they need to leave their heelish ways behind. Either way, Breezango has passed them in popularity. They need to go find The Ascension and have a fantastic match at the SummerSlam Pre-show. Otherwise they’ll be in this same predicament when it comes time to put The Revival over. But I guess, welcome to the big league Alpha!

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Styles Adjustment

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AJ Styles has had it with John Cena. He has some words for The Face That Runs the Place and all of Cenation. With John Cena being the man he is, he’d rather hear these words to his face.

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I mean, it’s all fine and dandy out here. Styles just thinks everyone that cheers for John Cena is a misguided loser. He asks Cena why he’s even still around? Cena thinks that’s a dumb question. He’s around because he loves it here! Always has and always will.

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To sum it up, rematch at SummerSlam. Yeah, I know. You’re smart and you figured that. If you didn’t see this segment I would highly recommend that you find it somewhere on the internet. Styles was magnificent on the mic! John Cena was well, John Cena on the microphone.

Fandango Vs. Randy Orton

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Breezango is here together because ain’t no party like a Breezango party! You can’t have Fadango without a Breeze, and apparently we can’t have this match without security. Why do we need security again?

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Oh yeah. Revenge is a dish best served cold. RKOs are best served out of nowhere.

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Where does that leave F5s?

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Out the building….for now.

Slater Pleads His Case

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Daniel Bryan is on the phone trying to figure out how Brock got through security. Heath Slater has somehow found a way into his office! Slater must be tired of being blindsided in the ring and embarrassed in front of thousands of people. He begs again for a contract and Daniel Bryan has a solution for him. DB tells Slater that he’s giving him an opportunity for a contract. Slater gets a match next week against Rhyno. Rhyno hits him with a gore out of nowhere. Poor Slater.

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Ambrose Is Still A Lunatic

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Ambrose weighs in on the main event for tonight. He can go either way. Ziggler is the kind of guy to lose a match like this, but Ambrose isn’t banking on it. I think he’s starting to see a change in Dolph Ziggler. Is that respect on your sleeve Ambrose?

Viper Rules

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Hey! A Randy Orton interview after being attacked by Brock Lesnar! He’s leaving the trainer’s room when he’s stopped by Charly Caruso. Let’s tune in:

Caruso: After being attacked by an invading Brock Lesnar, what is your condition?

Randy: *sips water and walks away*

Carmella Vs. Natalya

Yes! Finally a women’s match on SmackDown LIVE!

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Nevermind. I guess Nattie doesn’t actually like to wrestle anymore. Let’s just blindside everyone until a PPV. Lame.

Do You Believe?

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Last chance for Ziggler to change his mind and Daniel and Shane try to make it happen. Ziggler takes that as a sign of disrespect. He’s gonna prove that he deserves respect and he deserves to be in the title picture.

Bray Wyatt Vs. Dolp Ziggler – #1 Contender Match

Dean Ambrose joins us at ringside and it’s on. Ziggler comes out the gate hot! Bray cools him off with a big clothesline. Bray is working on getting a turnbuckle pad off and the ref stops him. Ziggler is able to capitalize with a Zig Zag.

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Only a two count. What does Ziggler have to do in order to keep Bray down? I’m not sure. Ziggler goes for the turnbuckle pad this time and he’s able to rip it off. Bray is having none of that and escapes Ziggler’s clutches. Ziggler is sold on connecting Bray’s face to the exposed turnbuckle but ends up getting himself exposed to the mat after Bray Wyatt spikes him. Wyatt throws Ziggler into the corner with the exposed turnbuckle pad but Ziggler hits the corner low. Bray moves in and Ziggler counters. He finally introduces Wyatt’s face to the turnbuckle and follows that up with a Super Kick. Winner… AND STILL number one contender.

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Family Over Everything

Ziggler rejoices and points at Dean Ambrose. He’s coming for the champ next. Before any of that can happen, one of the forgotten draft picks of SmackDown LIVE makes his first appearance. It’s Erick Rowan! He and Bray beat down Ziggler and when Dean Ambrose comes in to help he catches a beat down too.

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Kiss the baby.

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Some things never change.

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RAW (8/1/16)

After one of the more memorable and eventful nights in RAW history, Stephanie and Mick look to pick up where they left off. Is that possible after such a huge week?

Opening Statement

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We start the show with our brand new  WWE Woman’s Champion, Sasha Banks. She’s finally realized her dreams and become the champ? What’s next for The Legit Boss? She’ll be defending her title against Charlotte in a rematch at SummerSlam. For now, she has a few statements for her naysayers and some rights to brag about.

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The excitement doesn’t last for long as Charlotte comes out to crash the party. The WWE Universe has three words for the former champion and they’re not nice: “You tapped out!” Charlotte blames a fly for her aggressive slapping of her chin and the mat, and calls Sasha a one night stand. Banks fires back by referencing Charlotte’s father.

“You’re the daughter of Ric Flair. If it wasn’t for a one night stand you probably wouldn’t be standing here.” – Sasha Banks

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Before things get physical, a voice of reasoning emerges. Chris Jericho comes to the ring and the entire walk down all he has to say is, “Shut up.” He steps inside the squared circle and immediately comes to the defense of the former champ, Charlotte. Sasha is taken aback but it wouldn’t be long before someone would come to her aide as well.

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Enzo Amore is here! He’s not with the big guy and his focus seems a bit off. He’s more concerned with the champ and, “how she’s doin’,”than anything else. He kisses her hand and spits some game in her direction. She seems to be buying what Enzo is selling. Things seem to be getting hot and heavy and since this is PG television programming, SOMEONE had to interrupt. Both Charlotte and Jericho had a few jokes to crack.

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“I’m a G, you’re a Boss, you’re more like a b-a-u-c-e BAUCE. And let me be frank, I got that hot sauce.” – Enzo Amore to Sasha Banks

“Rumor has it, when it comes to Enzo and his love life, there’s only one word to describe it…” – Charlotte

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Enzo and Jericho get into a verbal spat and Jericho has some odd words for him.

“Listen here you hip hop hobbit, I’m gonna tell you this one time. You better watch it.” – Chris Jericho

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General Manager Mick Foley comes out to get things in order. He clearly has some favoritism towards Sasha and Enzo but he’s a fair boss. One might even say he’s a legit boss! The odds look to be about even so Foley calls for a mixed tag team match. That match will be next.

Chris Jericho & Charlotte Vs. Enzo Amore & Sasha Banks – Mixed Tag Team Match

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If you don’t know, despite what you may find on the WWE Network, the WWE does not allow its men and women to compete against each other physically. So how does a mixed tag team match work? A tag for one side is treated as a tag for the other. Only competitors of the same gender are allowed to be in the ring at the same time. It’s almost like having two separate singles matches swapping in and out. Now that we’re caught up on how this works, let’s get into the first match of the night.

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Kevin Owens is here! I don’t know why but with the way RAW is setup now, we know he won’t be interfering with the match. He IS here to put a headset on and speak his opinion on the match and the Superstars involved. Owens doesn’t seem to think much of Enzo or Sasha as they fight for their lives against a more than 20 year vet in Jericho and the daughter of a two time Hall of Famer in Charlotte.

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Enzo finds himself in quite the predicament when Jericho grabs his legs and turns him over into The Walls of Jericho. Enzo is able to reach the ropes and get Jericho to break the hold. Banks is fired up and ready to get back in the ring. Enzo manages to dodge Jericho and tag in his partner.

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Charlotte comes in and gets schooled. Sasha Banks would hit a Back Stabber but before she could transition into the Bank Statement, Dana Brooke makes her first appearance of the night. It looks like she’s trying to enter the ring and interfere with the match but Banks nails her with a forearm before she could think twice.

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Charlotte tries to steal the W by rolling up Banks from behind. Sasha rolls through and slaps Jericho right across the face. Charlotte kicks Sasha in the back of the leg and delivers Natural Selection. Charlotte gets the three count.

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The fun wouldn’t end there. Enzo comes in to check on his partner. He turns around right into a Code Breaker. Cass runs down to make sure that’s all that happens. Score one for the bad guys.

Braun Strowman Vs. Evan Anderholm

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Another week, another jobber. At least the guy allegedly gets $1,000 out of it. Oh well.

Somebody’s Gonna Get They’re A– Kicked

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Mark Henry must feel like it’s 1999 again. He’s feeling energetic and underutilized. He finds Stephanie and Foley and asks for a legit chance to make some noise. Stephanie informs him that he was drafted to provide leadership in the locker room more so than to have big time matches. Henry disagrees and maybe Foley does too. For some crazy reason, Foley grants Henry a US Title match set for later tonight. Stephanie rolls with it and Henry leaves rejuvenated with something to fight for.

R-Truth Has a Problem

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Since Truth was introduced to Pokémon GO last week, he’s been obsessed with it! Goldust has been trying to ween him off of it but to no avail. Goldust promises R-Truth that he’ll help him catch all the Pokémon in the arena if they win their match tonight. I’m not so sure Truth is listening.

Golden Truth Vs. Shining Stars

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The Shining Stars are waiting in the ring as Golden Truth arrive. Truth has yet to put his phone down or even put on his gear! Goldust is fighting this one alone. Meanwhile, Truth is still trying to catch Pokémon while standing on the apron. He sees his partner in need and tries to put his phone in his back pocket. He misses and his phone falls to the floor. After Goldust miraculously escapes both Shining Stars, he somehow manages to get to his corner. Well instead of tagging himself in, R-Truth decides to pick up his phone and keep catching Pokémon. In shock, Goldust gets pinned easy and the Shining Stars mock Goldy and his partner as they walk off. Truth doesn’t appear to be apologetic and is still stuck on the idea of catching them all. Goldust looks hopeless.

Finn Bálor Interview w/ Michael Cole

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Michael Cole is in the ring and Finn Bálor arrives. After several minutes of theatrics, Finn finally has a mic in his hand. Cole is all geared up to ask his first question when Finn’s SumerSlam opponent’s music hits. Rollins comes down with a huge grin and tells Cole to take a hike. Seth Rollins will be conducting this interview.

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There are so many questions that could’ve been asked and instead, Rollins uses this time to somehow talk about himself. To be fair, he made some good points and accurate comparisons. Both men are former NXT Champions (Seth was the first ever), both men were drafted high in the draft (Rollins was first overall), and both men have recent victories over Roman Reigns (Bálor’s win put him IN a championship match, while Seth’s win won one). Rollins is clearly trying to intimidate the upstart with big brother tactics and the shine of big lights. Finn may be new to the WWE Universe but he’s by no means a rookie. He’s got his work cut out for him at SummerSlam but he’s more than capable of coming out on top.

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Rollins doesn’t appreciate the way he’s being talked to and resorts to heel shenanigans. He tries to sneak attack Bálor but catches a flurry and a Pele kick. Rollins retreats and the seeds have been planted for SummerSlam.

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“The only thing you’re gonna have handed to you is your a–!” – Finn Bálor

Mark Henry Vs. Rusev (w/ Lana) – WWE US Championship Match

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Mark Henry is not the spring chicken he once was and Rusev eats three whole chickens for breakfast. Henry showed that in spurts he can still put on a show but he’s no match for Super Rusev. Henry taps out to the Accolade.

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After the match, Rusev grabs a microphone for his weekly USA slander. He speaks on the Olympics and his competition but he says one thing that causes a reaction. Rusev says that no one will ever beat him for his title. That caused the Runner Up for the big SummerSlam Universal title match to make an appearance.

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Roman Reigns is probably looking for something to do on August 21 seeing as he won’t be competing for the WWE Universal Championship. Maybe he’s found himself a new challenge? We’ll have to wait and see.

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Titus O’Neil Vs. Darren Young (w/Bob Backlund)

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Before the match, we see a clip from earlier tonight. Apparently on the RAW Pre-show, Titus stirred the pot by asking Darren Young when he was ever great. He didn’t say it maliciously but that is a pretty tough comment from a former tag team partner.

The match starts and Titus is destroying Darren Young. No amount of coaching in the world can prepare you for a whooping like this. O’Neil tries to end it with a Clash of the Titus but Young somehow escapes. It wouldn’t matter because Titus would eventually roll up Young and pull his tights to secure the victory. Young was disappointed at not only his loss, but having a friend and former tag team partner stoop so low to win a match. Bob Backlund is turning red trying to explain to the ref what just happened.

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Sheamus, Cesaro and a Tablet

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Stephanie McMahon gifts Mick foley with a tablet. It has a nice big RAW sticker on the back. Mick has done a phenomenal job as GM so far and this is just an incentive to keep it going. Sheamus barges in upset about Mark Henry getting a title match when he’s been a non-factor for quite some time now. Cesaro isn’t too far behind him. The Swiss Superman doesn’t seem unhappy or anything but Stephanie lets him know that she heard what he had to say last week about wanting to be on SmackDown and she’s not happy about it. Foley of course has a solid idea. First, he has to let these two Superstars understand why they’re in the position they’re in. Sheamus hasn’t been a threat since he won Money in the Bank and Cesaro can’t seem to stay healthy. Foley puts them in a match tonight and declares that the winner will have a title opportunity in the future.

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The Cruiserweights Are Coming

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Just reminder that the Cruiserweight Division is coming to RAW and will be exclusive to Monday nights. So, why isn’t Kalisto on RAW again?

Millions of Feelings

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Bob Backlund finds Titus O’Neil in the back and gives him a piece of his mind. He’s frustrated with O’Neil’s tactics and he’s trying to verbally teach him a lesson. Titus isn’t having it and it goes from 0 to 100 real quick. Titus threatens to put hands on the Hall of Famer and the two have a stare down. Out of nowhere, Darren young flies in and takes out the big guy. Backlund has to restrain his pupil. Young has clearly developed an anger issue, as he’s become pretty sensitive when it comes to his life coach.

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Nia Jax Vs. Ariel Monroe

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Nia Jax aka Brianna Strowoman aka Not Like Most Girls is still facing nobodies. I find it almost disrespectful. What other women were drafted to RAW? Summer Rae? Dana Brooke? She should be demolishing someone with a name. She has legit skill and she showed it with whatever her finishing move was tonight. It started off looking like a Samoan Drop, and then an AA, and then the World’s Strongest Slam. Either way, it put the “local competitor” out for good. I mean, Nia DID unnecessarily smash her opponent after the match during an interview but it’s all love! Sasha and Charlotte had better beware.

The Underdog From the Underground

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Sami Zayn has a bone to pick with Seth Rollins. He heard what Rollins said earlier, that he would make an example out of Zayn to prove a point to Bálor. After finally putting his rivalry with Kevin Owens to bed, Zayn is free to move on to bigger and better things. Instead of BEING the statement Sami Zayn is looking to MAKE a statement. A win tonight against Rollins would be huge and Zayn is ready to go.

The Club Vs. The New Day

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The Club have their sights set on Tag Team gold. They’ve crossed paths with New Day before but due to other arrangements they were forced to postpone their exploits. With AJ Styles on SmackDown, The Club are outnumbered against the New Day. Knowing this, they went to management and asked that one member of New Day be banned from ringside in their match tonight. Management obliged and New Day used fruit to decide who would sit out. Kofi and E both pulled oranges but Woods pulled a banana. It looks like Woods will be sitting out.

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Woods makes his way to the back and the match starts. The Club are in control. Gallows knocks Kofi off the apron and Anderson knocks E silly with an  enziguri. Anderson takes a moment to look down at Big E then looks over at Gallows who’s standing outside. They link up with a little too sweet action and Big E rolls up Anderson for a quick pin! The match is over already? True, but the fight isn’t.

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The Club is livid after losing the way they did. Gallows takes out Kofi, and both men beat down Big E. E actually catches two Boot of Dooms. Woods tried to come to the aide of his partners but with no luck. He was disposed of easily. The emphasis went back to Big E. The Club lined him up with a steel post and tried to split him in half by puling his legs from the outside. Too Sweet.

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Cesaro Vs. Sheamus

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This looks like an old episode of SmackDown doesn’t it? After seeing everything we have tonight and last week, this match seemed old, stale and unnecessary. That’s not to say these guys don’t have a place on RAW, they just shouldn’t be going through the motions with each other. This might have been a good match a year ago but today, for the umpteenth time, I decided to just use the restroom.

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I managed to make it back in time to see Cesaro do some strong guy stuff and even catch Sheamus deliver some beats of his drum thing. Sheamus looked to be going for a back breaker of sorts when Cesaro flipped and twisted out of it to land a Dutch Neutralizer. Win for the Swiss Superman! Commercial break.

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2MB?

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We return from the commercial break and Sheamus and Cesaro are still going at it. A new and familiar voice is heard over the speakers. It’s Heath Slater! He encourages the two men to keep the fight going. WWE officials are able to break everything up and get the two men to the back. Heath has a friend with him, it’s Jinder Mahal! How long has it been since we’ve seen Jinder? It’s good to see him still around.

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Heath Slater calls this reunion 2MB. The third member of the band is off at TNA playing a big role over there. Heath wasn’t drafted and is still looking to be signed. Foley comes out to handle the situation. Slater wants to talk but Mick wants action. Foley sends out a referee and declares that Mahal and Slater will have a match. The winner will be signed to RAW. Slater doesn’t want to fight his friend but the feeling isn’t mutual.

Mahal plants Slater with a wicked kick and Mahal gets the pin and the contract. He walks up the ramp and shakes his new GM’s hand and is welcomed to RAW.

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KO the Walls

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Chris Jericho has a lot to say and Tom Phillips has a microphone. Jericho still has a bone to pick with Enzo and Cass. He’s upset that Cass interrupted his situation with Enzo earlier. Jericho claims that Enzo wouldn’t be so lucky if Cass wasn’t around to watch his back. He then claims to have backup as well. Tom asks him who his backup is and Jericho replies with the blatantly fabricated name, Jimmin Marvin Luder. He’s allegedly a Canadian super athlete. Sure.

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Kevin Owens crashes the party. With a look of disappointment, he rats out his fellow Canadian. Owens isn’t here to start a war. In fact, he may be here to help. He encourages Chris to quit making things up, and he offers his services. Maybe this Canadian connection will become something?

Seth Rollins Vs. Sami Zayn

This isn’t the first time these two have faced off, and hopefully it won’t be the last.

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With so much to prove and really nothing on the line, these two duke it out like it’s a title match. Counters, high risk maneuvers, and a constant desire to land their finisher. These guys are holding nothing back.

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When you’re constantly swinging for the fences, you’ll either hit a home run or strike out swinging. Zayn set up and attempted a Helluva kick for maybe the fifth time and he missed. Rollins was able to capitalize and land the Pedigree on maybe HIS fifth try. Three count for the potential first ever WWE Universal Champion. Will this be the fate of Finn Bálor?

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Bad Boy RAW

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So Diddy will be on RAW next week! I have no idea how they plan to make that work. It doesn’t seem like a New Era kind of move.

The Viper Slayer

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If you know Paul Heyman, you know he loves to talk. If you know Brock Lesnar, you know he’s not big on words. This spot goes exactly as it has for a while now. Heyman speaks on the exploits of his client and Brock Lesnar bounces around looking menacing.

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Since Randy Orton is exclusive to SmackDown, there’s no hope for a face to face. Maybe that’s why Paul Heyman is making such brash declarations and animated facial expressions? He swears that Randy will NEVER get Brock in a position to deliver an RKO. Orton is a shifty dude. I mean, he has his own hashtag for crying out loud! If anybody can sneak up and land a move out of thin air we’re talking about him.

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And just like that, Orton has crossed the RAW/SmackDown boundary and hit the Beast with an #RKOOuttaNowhere! Orton mocks Heyman and points at the back of his shirt before fleeing the scene. Mick and Stephanie run out with a ton of officials and Stephanie is yelling for security.

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WELCOME TO VIPERVILLE

SmackDown LIVE (7/26/16)

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Just as RAW did the night before, SmackDown LIVE has a new logo, new music, and a new video intro. The very first thing we see is Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan holding microphones ready to drop some knowledge. They talk to the camera, get real buddy buddy. They remind us that SmackDown LIVE is about the Universe and the Superstars. They lead the cameraman to the ring where all of the recently drafted Superstars surround them.

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After a well deserved “Yes” chant, Shane informs us that SmackDown LIVE will be hosting their very own PPVs live on the WWE Network starting September 11. That first PPV will be a classic known as Backlash.

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The next thing to do, is decide who will be facing Dean Ambrose at Summer Slam! Ambrose was the only Superstar not already at ringside so Shane calls him down. Ambrose comes down full of energy and up for a challenge. He wants to know who his opponent is and he’s ready.

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Daniel Bryan announces that there will be a 6 Pack Challenge for the #1 contender at SummerSlam and it will take place tonight. He rattles off a bunch of names:

John Cena, Bray Wyatt, Dolph Ziggler, Baron Corbin, and AJ Styles.

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Now that’s only 5 names and there’s a reason for that. Bryan states that everyone is eligible for the last spot. There will be a Battle Royal for the 6th and final spot. The Battle Royal starts now.

Battle Royal

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In a Battle Royal it’s always wise to eliminate the biggest and strongest Superstars first. Everyone seemed to be on the same page and went straight for either Kane or Erick Rowan as soon as the bell rang. Both Superstars were able to break out of the scrum.

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Kane is Kane. He’s eliminating Superstars one tag team at a time!

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After some high flying shenanigans from Zack Ryder and Kalisto onto Crews, Kane gets up from a momentary nap. He grabs a charging Kalisto and throws him over the top with a chokeslam-like grip. Ryder goes next. The last two guys are Kane and Crews. Kane tries to end it quickly, by tossing Crews out the same way he did the last two. Crews backflips out of the choke hold and backs away from Kane.

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Kane rushes him and Crews pulls the top rope down on him. Kane falls over the top rope and eliminates himself. Crews wins! He’ll be the last person in the 6 Pack Challenge.

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In an interview right after the match, Crews reminded himself to calm down. There’s still work to do. One match down, one to go.

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The Return of Shelton Benjamin?!?!

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Is it true? I’ve heard rumors before but it appears to be happening!! Shelton Benjamin would be a perfect fit on SmackDown LIVE. Check him out on the network. His feud with Evolution was epic!

Straight From the Heart

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Dolph Ziggler cuts an intense promo prior to the main event tonight. He speaks on bashing his head on the metaphoric glass ceiling and losing his way in the ring. Now he’s renewed. He’s in a sound place with a good head on his shoulders and he promises to steal the show.

Becky Lynch Vs. Natalya

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A rematch from Sunday in the New Era? Why? I have hope!

This match is a lot more fast paced, even more physical, but just as intense. Becky is able to protect her leg this time around and she’s on the offensive. Nattie has her moments but she can’t keep Becky Balboa down. After Nattie catches Becky with a German Suplex, the tides turn a bit. Natalya would even get in position for a Sharpshooter. Before she can wrap the legs, Becky grabs her hand. She pulls Nattie down and transitions into a Dis-arm-her. Nattie taps and Becky gets her revenge.

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The Women of Tuesday Night

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Renee Young is ready to interview Becky and they are both interrupted by an unfamiliar (to some) voice.

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It’s Alexa Bliss! She tells Becky that she’s old news and that she is the personification of the New Era. More music!

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It’s Naomi! Welcome back! She tells Alexa that she’s gotta get in that ring before she can claim anything. Naomi is back and ready to take over Tuesday nights. The jukebox must be broken now because here comes someone else.

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It’s Carmella! The First Lady of Staten Island. She’s ready to through her hat in the ring and boogie, and so is the next interrupting Superstar,

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Eva Marie! She has the most over the top entrance possibly ever and it makes everyone stop and watch. Some guy with a cheesy announcer voice introduces her. I guess we’re supposed to be seduced or something? I guess so. The ladies are here and the competition will be fierce. That’s a great sign because there is no Woman’s title on SmackDown LIVE. I’m sure something can be arranged.

The Lone Wolf

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Baron Corbin just wanted to let us all know that he is and always has been self centered. That is all.

Miz Tv w/ Special Guest The Miz?

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Miz gets the crowd whipped into a frenzy. It’s SmackDown LIVE! With Miz being exclusive to Tuesdays, this is a thing now! Miz says he has a great guest tonight. This person is a Legend Killer and through Evolution has become one of the all time greats.

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No, it’s not Randy Orton. It’s himself. Yes, Miz interviews himself. Well not for long because someone has a bone to pick with him.

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The Viper is here and he doesn’t like where Miz is going with this. It clearly sounded like he was calling out Orton and now Orton is here. Miz asks him why he would decide to come back and have his first match back with Brock Lesnar. Orton says it doesn’t have to be his first match back, he can do that tonight against The Miz. Miz reminds him of their history and how he beat Orton for the WWE Championship years ago.

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Randy has some more harsh words for both Miz and Maryse and Miz remains calm. Maryse doesn’t. She accepts Orton’s challenge for her husband and now we’ll see the two face off!

The Miz Vs. Randy Orton

The bell rings and Miz rolls out the ring to have a chat with his wife. He whispers something in Maryse’s ear before climbing back in the ring. Miz does have a gameplan. He goes straight for the surgically repaired shoulder of Orton.

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Miz is in complete control of this match until Randy hits an RKO outta nowhere!

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Orton doesn’t go for the pin. Instead, he stands up and backs away. He walks up and looks down at his prey, and begins pounding on the mat. The Miz gets to his feet and is hit with another RKO for good measure. This time he covers Miz for the 3 count.

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A Look At Alpha

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It looks like we’ll be seeing American Alpha next week on SmackDown LIVE!

The Unaccounted For

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There’s some sort of a local competitor in the ring. He’s gearing up for a match but is attacked by the undrafted Superstar, Heath Slater. Slater has a bone to pick. He should be on a roster and it looks like he’s using SmackDown LIVE to voice his frustration. He wants in on the 6 Pack match and he gets the crowd to chant, “Sign Heath Slater!” I’m pretty sure that will become a hashtag.

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Shane comes out to get the situation in check. The two go back and forth before another undrafted Superstar sneaks into the ring behind Slater. By the time Slater noticed, it was too late.

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GORE!!

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Throw in Shelton Benjamin and it looks like SmackDown LIVE may have just added 3 more talents to the roster.

They Don’t Want None

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AJ Styles has a bone to pick with Shane and Daniel. They didn’t draft The Club and now he has to prove himself in a 6 Pack match? He doesn’t like it but he IS ready to #BeatUpJohnCena.

The Whole World in His Hands

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Before the big match, Bray has words for the Universe. He usually has so much to say but not this time. He just really wants to win I guess. Welp! He heads down to the ring so the main event must be next.

The #1 Contender 6 Pack Challenge

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So.

Much.

Action.

So many Superstars, so little time! Everyone has their moment to shine in this match.

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After all 6 Superstars participate in some sort of Towers of Doom Super Power Plexbomb, only the bottom two guys are left standing. It’s Apollo Crews Vs. Baron Corbin, which you would know has happened in NXT if you watch. Corbin hits Deep Six but Crews kicks out. He goes for The End of Days but Crews flips out. Crews grabs Corbin and lifts him up. He hits a Spinout Powerbomb and goes for the cover.

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Bray pulls the referee out at 2.

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So now there’s no ref and Bray and Apollo are in the ring. Bray introduces Crews to Sister Abigail.

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Dolph hits a Zig Zag on Wyatt but there’s no ref to count! He tunes up the band for a Super Kick but Cena intercepts him. Attitude Adjustment. Bray gets bounced between Cena and Styles before he gets Pele kicked and rolls out the ring. Styles charges Cena and is met with an AA. Cena goes for the pin and the ref counts. AJ kicks out at 2!

 

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Styles rolls out of the ring and that’s when Super Cena comes out. Attitude Adjustments for everyone!

Cena turns around and finds a Phenomenal Forearm waiting for him.

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Styles turns around and falls victim to a Super Kick!

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Ziggler with the pin on Styles and the win!

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Dean Ambrose comes out to puff his chest, or as the young dudes say, ‘flex’ on Ziggler. He holds his title high and talks a little smack. This will be SmackDown LIVE’s main event come SummerSlam!

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The Commish and the GM come out to congratulate Ziggler and hype up the match. Good show for the B squad! You weren’t gonna top Bálor and Banks winning last night so you do what you can. Excited for the New Era!

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RAW 7/25/16

Welcome to the NEW ERA

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The New Era is here and you can spot it from a mile away. A new intro with new music and a new set up. Even the announcers have a new viewing spot. No longer are they so close to ringside, they’ll be calling it from afar. For those of you who are unfamiliar, get acquainted to the voice of Corey Graves. He’s the tatted up new guy with Saxton & Cole. He’s the voice of NXT and also the best in the company at what he does. The trio send us to the ring where the Commissioner and the General Manager are prepared to make some announcements.

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Mick Foley declares that the New Era begins tonight. He calls the RAW roster out to the stage. He promises to make each week of RAW the best week of RAW. He’ll be working hands on with all the talent to give the Universe what it wants.

Stephanie takes over and blames Roman Reigns for RAW’s lack of a top title. He DID get pinned last night, and Stephanie feels that Seth would’ve won if Roman wasn’t there. The fans boo Roman of course. Stephanie declares that RAW has always had a Heavyweight Champion and that tradition won’t change. She and Foley surprise everyone with some big news. Foley speaks. He informs us that he and Stephanie have decided to have two Fatal 4 Way matches tonight. The winners will face each other in the Main Event. The winner of that will go to Summer Slam and face Seth Rollins in a championship match for RAW’s NEW title, the WWE Universal Championship, named for the fans. The reveal the 8 Superstars. They are: Chris Jericho, Sheamus, Sami Zayn & Roman Reigns in one match, and Cesaro, Rusev, Kevin Owens and Finn Bálor in the other.

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“You’re not a good guy, you’re not a bad guy, you’re just a LOSER.” – Stephanie McMahon

Foley also has some news for the WWE Woman’s Champion, Charlotte. Because she lost the tag team match at Battleground, she’ll be defending her title against Sasha Banks tonight on RAW! Exciting news for the New Era and the first Fatal 4 Way will be next!

Kevin Owens Vs. Cesaro Vs. Rusev Vs. Finn Bálor – Fatal 4 Way #1 Contender Semi-Finals Match

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Wow. What a way to start RAW?! Who would’ve thought this would be the first match of the New Era?

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This is a barn burner. It starts with KO and Rusev teaming up. They beat up on Balor and Cesaro for a while. When Owens goes for a pin, Rusev breaks it up and the Alliance is over.

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After one of those Superplex/Powerbomb spots, Rusev is the last man standing. He charges Owens in the corner and is greeted by a boot. Owens is uppercutted by Cesaro who is kicked by Rusev who then attacks Bálor and gets floored with a Pele kick. I know, it’s a lot of action and it’s AMAZING!

Owens and Bálor are the only two men in the ring. Owens snuck up on Bálor and plants him with the same Neckbreaker he used to beat Cesaro a couple weeks ago on RAW. He goes for the pin and Cesaro breaks it up at two. He pulls Owens out of the ring and catches a Super Kick for his trouble. Owens scurries up to the top rope. Finn is still out of it. Owens lands a Frog Splash and covers Finn. This time Rusev breaks it up at 2. Owens tosses Rusev outside and nails him with a Super Kick. Finn charges Owens and gets hit with a Pop Up Powerbomb. Owens covers and Cesaro jumps in to break up the count. Owens was so close 3 times. He, Cesaro, and Rusev duke it out while Bálor tries to get his soul back into his body.

Eventually, Cesaro gets erased. It’s Rusev and Owens in the ring. They’re fighting in the corner and Bálor appears! He kicks Owens and hits him with a Slingblade. Owens is out of the picture. Finn kicks Rusev into the corner and climbs the top rope. Coup de Grace! Finn pins Rusev and wins his first match ever on RAW!

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Nia Jax Vs. Britt Baker

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This is just a chance to showcase one of RAW’s NXT draft picks. A top NXT contender going against a Breaking Ground hopeful? Yeah. Baker gets in zero offense and Jax somehow manages to win the match twice. She’s not like most girls.

Sasha Shoots Her Shot, Golden Truth Explore

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Goldust and R-Truth are up to their usual shenanigans, just walking around minding their own. They’re playing Pokémon GO and they find a Pokémon! It happens to be on Sasha Banks and she doesn’t have time to play games. She DOES allow them to catch it before she answers a few questions and says a few words to the Universe. The Golden Truth runs off.  Sasha claims that Charlotte will be exposed tonight. This goes back to when she was 10 years old. She’s ready to fulfill her lifelong dream and prove all her doubters wrong. The Boss is ready.

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Chris Jericho Vs. Sheamus Vs. Sami Zayn Vs. Roman Reigns – Fatal 4 Way #1 Contender Semi-Finals Match

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As soon as the bell rings, Jericho and Sheamus go after Reigns. They beat him into a corner and Zayn just watches, unsure of what to do. Reigns starts to fight out of it and then Zayn jumps on him! It’s a 3-1 assault. Sheamus and Jericho take the fight to Reigns outside the ring and leave him on the floor. They focus their energy on Zayn.

Zayn manages to dump Jericho and Sheamus out the ring, and is attacked from behind by Reigns. The two go at it until Reigns gets dumped, and Sheamus comes back into the picture. Jericho takes out Sheamus and starts pounding on Zayn. Reigns clothesline both men to the floor and then takes flight jumping on everyone.

Reigns gets Brogue kicked, Sheamus gets Helluva kicked, and Sami goes for the pin. Jericho throws Zayn out to go for the cover himself. Zayn comes back to break it up. Reigns comes back and Superman punches everyone except Jericho. Jericho and Reigns are the last men standing. Jericho manages a Codebreaker but only gets a 2 count. He tries to disrespect Reigns by cornering up and going for a Spear. Reigns would get around it and counter with a Spear of his own. Ladies and gentlemen, Bálor Vs. Reigns is our Main Event!

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New Day Championship Celebration

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The ring is all decked out in pink, blue, and white balloons. There are even unicorn ones! The New Day come out and are pretty excited about their new record. They show a video compilation of all their exploits over the past year and announce the sale of their actual cereal. You can now preorder Booty O’s online at fye.com! The New Day want to pick someone in the crowd to be an honorary New Day member. They leave the ring and pick a guy. They bring him in the ring and Big E  asks, “What is your name, Sonny boy?” The main responds, “Sonny Boy!” There seems to be some miscommunication. They ask him about 7 different times, each a different way and every time he responds,”Sonny Boy!” They decide to roll with it. The crowd even starts chanting, “Son-Ny Boy! Son-Ny Boy!” The 4 men start dancing in celebration.

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The dancing is cut short when the party is crashed by The Club. Gallows and Anderson wreck Woods and Kingston and hit Big E with a Magic Killer. Sonny Boy is able to get back to his seat during all the commotion. The Club find him. They had stripped Kofi and Xavier of their shirts. Anderson gets Gallows to rub his sweaty face into one of them and they throw it at Sonny Boy. Celebration canceled.

 

Curtis Axel Vs. Neville

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The Social Outcasts are no more but Bo and Axel were both drafted to RAW. Slater didn’t get drafted at all and that’s another story. Axel was RAW’s last draft pick making him Mr. Irrelevant. He’s found yet another title to go by. He’s so quick! Well, not as quick as a returning Neville. In his first match back from injury, Neville doesn’t go through his full arsenal of assault. He does hit a Red Arrow and send Curtis Axel packing. Curtis Axel could be a great mid-carder if he wants to.

Missed It By THIS Much

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The Golden Truth are at it again and this time they stumble upon Darren Young and Bob Backlund. Darren is still beating himself up about last night and Bob is coaching him through it. Goldust asks Bob to stand still because there is a Jigglypuff under his bowtie. Bob becomes unglued and Golden Truth flee. Young is left trying to calm down his life coach.

Being the Best

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Charlotte is not pleased with Sasha’s remarks from earlier. She has some words for the challenger. There is no way her fantasy of becoming champ will happen on Charlotte’s time. Hard to argue that with Dana by her side and Bayley back at NXT. Charlotte fully expects to leave tonight the same way she has for almost a year now, champion.

Sasha Banks Vs. Charlotte (w/Dana Brooke) – WWE Woman’s Championship Match

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The match starts and Sasha and Charlotte lock up. They’re feeling each other out and looking for an advantage. Dana would prove to be one of Charlotte’s advantages when she grabs Sasha’s leg. Dana boldly does this right in front of the ref! Instead of calling it a DQ or even ejecting Brooke, the ref just gives Dana a warning.

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Charlotte failed to capitalize on the exploits of her protege and Banks gets her in a submission hold. Charlotte would escape and crawl out of the ring. Banks brought the fight right to her. After a boot from Charlotte, the Woman’s champ grabs her title and rubs it in the face of Banks, telling her she’ll never get it and other nasty things. Banks kicks it out of her hand and the two brawl again. Charlotte escapes by pushing off and climbing back in the ring. Sasha picks up the title and eyes Dana Brooke. While the ref is checking on Charlotte, Sasha throws the title up in the air to Dana. Dana catches it and Sasha cries wolf. The ref sees Dana with the title in her hand and Sasha cowering. He has no choice but to eject Dana Brooke from ringside. Sasha waves goodbye to Dana. An old trick from a true legend goes a long way. Viva La Raza!

We come back from a commercial break and Charlotte finally has things in her favor. Who would’ve known that it would HELP to lose your valet? A few cool things happen here.

Sasha almost kills herself with a dive.

Charlotte almost kills herself with a Moonsault.

Woman’s wrestling in 2016 people. Be grateful.

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Charlotte is throwing everything at Sasha. She hits Natural Selection but Sasha was close enough to the ropes to grab them at 2. She gets a Figure 4 locked in and Sasha flips out of it, reversing the pressure. Charlotte crawls out of the ring with the hold still locked in and spins around. For a moment, Sasha was in some serious pain.

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Charlotte gets back in the ring and walks right into a Bank Statement. Charlotte would manage to force a rope break. Both women are giving it their all. They both stand and Charlotte mouths the words, “You will never beat me, ever!” She charges Banks but Banks slides under and around and hits her with a Back Stabber and into the Bank Statement. This time it’s in the middle of the ring, and Charlotte taps out. New champion!

Saxton is in the ring to get a few words from the new champ. The Universe is chanting, “You deserve it,” and Sasha is fighting through tears and “YES” chants.

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“I promise you, every single week, every time I step into this ring, I’m gonna show everyone why I am champion…..” – Sasha Banks 

Braun Strowman Vs. James Ellsworth

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Saxton stayed in the ring to interview James Ellsworth. The guy looks like an Average Joe who just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He has a bunch of heart and a lot of faith. Strowman slowly walks down the ramp and enters the ring. He walks straight to Ellsworth and Ellsworth crumbles in fear. The ref backs off the beast and calls for the bell. This does not end well for James Ellsworth.

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Ellsworth DID manage to get two ineffective punches in. He hurt himself in the process.

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After throwing his weight around, this repackaged Braun Strowman ends the match with a faceplanting reverse chokeslam. Lesnar match in his future?

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Truth Has the Phone

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Goldust takes a break from being a trainer and lets R-Truth give it a go. Truth leads them to a wall in the arena. He mistakes the wall art for a Pokémon. No Truth, the Pittsburgh Penguin is NOT a Pokémon. They keep it moving.

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Enzo & Cass Vs. The Shining Stars

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Enzo and Cass come out and do their whole spiel. Their happy to have been selected to RAW. So happy in fact, that Enzo sings some ODB and Cass begins to list all of the things he likes raw. Before Cass could approach explicit raw items, The Shining Stars interject. They talk about the raw beauty of Puerto Rico and invite everyone to visit the shining star of the Caribbean. The match starts.

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Primo and Epico are doing pretty well, putting a hurting on Enzo. Everyone is in the ring and are taken out one by one. Primo is the last man standing. Golden Truth come through and get in the ring. They’re still chasing Pokémon and Truth has one in his sights. Primo is upset and distracted by this. He watches Goldust and R-Truth leave.

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Primo turns around and catches a boot from Cass. 3 count. I think the Shining Stars will be looking forward to getting their hands on Golden Truth soon.

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Luck Vs. Strength

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Roman and Finn cross paths in the hallway before their match. Finn wishes Roman luck and Roman does the same. Finn says he doesn’t need it because he’s Irish and he invented luck. Reigns counters with, “I’m Samoan. Nuff said.” They’re ready to go!

Roman Reigns Vs. Finn Bálor – #1 Contender Match

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The Big Dog takes on The Demon. Oh my. Foley wasted no time getting their #1 NXT pick out there. This is a big deal. If Bálor has already pinned the US champion tonight, what will stop him from pinning Roman Reigns? Or do we see Reigns Vs. Rollins again? We’ll know by night’s end.

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Reigns has a significant size advantage and he shows that by literally tossing Finn around to start the match. It’s very much so Power Vs. Speed. Reigns has learned a thing or two since his suspension. Balor fights with a ton of kicks.

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Things get interesting when Bálor lands a double stomp on the back of Reigns’ head and only gets a 2 count. After a slingblade, Bálor sets up for a dropkick. Reigns counters with a Superman punch and goes for a cover. 2 count. Bálor counters a Crucifix Powerbomb and rolls into a pin. Reigns kicks out at 2 and goes double powerbomb. Finn kicks out at 2. Reigns sets up for the Spear and Bálor counters with a slingblade! He gets up and hits Reigns with a dropkick. Reigns bounces off the turnbuckle and is in position for the Coup de Grace. Bálor climbs the top rope and goes for it. He connects! Bálor goes for the pin and gets the 3 count. Bálor will face Rollins at SummerSlam for the WWE Universal Championship.

Another Round?

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After the match, Reigns was asked if he had any words. Here’s what he had to say:

“I hope Finn Bálor beats Seth Rollins for that WWE Universal Championship at SummerSlam. Because when he does, I want him again. I respect that dude.” 

What’s next for Roman Reigns? And what else does the New Era have in store? This might have been the best RAW in the past 5 years!

 

 

WWE Battleground (7/24/16)

Charlotte & Dana Vs. Sasha Banks & ???

The very first match of the night features the Top Dogs the Head Honchos the Cream of the Crop  in the Woman’s Division. And Dana Brooke. Charlotte & Dana come out first and then The Boss. The only thing we’re missing, is Sasha’s tag team partner. And whom might that be?

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It’s Bayley!!!!

Yes, the one and only, undrafted NXT Superstar Bayley! WWE got something totally right here and as much as we the Universe wanted it, it meant so much more to see those wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tubemen dancing around on a Pay Per View as opposed to a Takeover. Bayley is here if not forever, for a little while. Her first time being involved with the main roster and I love it.

Fanfare aside, this IS a match. While Bayley and Sasha are busy being stuck in the moment, Dana and Charlotte strike. The bell hasn’t rang yet so the match hasn’t officially started. The ref finally gets some order and the match gets underway.

Bayley and Sasha look like two Superstars that form a tag team and destroy the division. Something like The Rock n Sock Connection or DX or JeriShow! There’s not a lot of tag technique but it’s not needed. Just have your partner’s back and lay the smackdown!

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Sasha and Charlotte are legal. After a big boot and Natural Selection, Charlotte goes for the pin. Bayley comes in to break it up. Dana comes in to get Bayley out of there. They fight outside while Charlotte goes for the Figure 8 on the inside. Sasha counters into the Bank Statement. Luckily for Charlotte, Dana is able to pull her out the ring and save the match. Bayley slides under the ropes to take out Dana and Charlotte lays out Bayley. Charlotte gets back in the ring and goes for Sasha. Sasha counters and hits Charlotte with a Back Stabber and follows that up with the Bank Statement. Sasha has it in deep and no one is there to save Charlotte. She’s not close enough to the ropes and she would be forced to tap. The Boss and Hug Connection win!

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The New Day Vs. The Wyatts

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This is NOT a title match but as of this past Wednesday, the New Day accomplished quite the feat. They are now the longest reining WWE World Tag Team Champions in WWE history! Now they may have gotten themselves into some trouble facing The Wyatts but luckily for them this should be their last Wyatt encounter for quite some time as the group was fractured due to the draft last week. The New Day make a few jokes about that and appear to laugh in the face of fear, almost literally. The Wyatts come down to the ring and there will be no more fun and games. It’s time to settle this the proper way. Both teams are in the ring, the bell rings, and the match begins.

Braun Strowman steps over the top rope and will start things for the Wyatts. Big E is in the ring for the New Day. Before E can make a move, Xavier Woods tags himself in. I guess he wants a piece of the bearded giant. When Woods tags himself in, Bray Wyatt does the same. With Bray in the ring, Xavier freezes up, almost petrified. His lack of action causes Kofi to tag himself in and get things going.

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Kofi does a little shake n bake and has some momentum before the Wyatts get ahold of him. Bray and family make frequent tags while wearing down Kofi Kingston. Bray hasn’t said much aloud but his motives are clear and his gestures are getting in the mind of Xavier Woods who hasn’t seemed to find his happy place just yet.

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Bray tags himself in again and unloads on Kofi. Kofi is in desperate need of a tag. He almost gets to his corner but Bray hits him with a wicked clothesline. Bray drops to his knees and glares at Xavier. Woods jumps back off the apron with a look of terror painted on his face.

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Here’s where things start getting crazy. Let’s use a bunch of pictures to help explain.

After getting beat down for another few minutes, Kofi finally manages to slip away from Bray Wyatt and tag Big E. Bray tags in Erick Rowan and E starts doing work. Belly to Belly suplex, hip shimmy, big splash. E goes for the pin and Strowman breaks it up. Woods tried to back up his partner but ended up getting swatted like a fly.

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Rowan goes for a cover on E and Kofi breaks it up. Strowman tries to give Kofi the boot but ends up sending himself over the top rope. Kofi flies and takes out Strowman on the outside.

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Kofi gets back up and tags back in. Big E is trying to pick up Erick Rowan for the Big Ending but he breaks free and disposes of Big E.

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Woods tags himself in. Kofi nails Rowan sending him flying into his corner. Bray tags himself in. Kofi goes for Trouble In Paradise and Bray counters and has him ready to sacrifice to Sister Abigail. Woods comes in to save The Day (see what I did there).

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Bray and Xavier lock eyes.

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Bray is whispering something and Woods is quietly responding. Woods is mesmerized. He starts slowly kneeling to Bray before Kofi comes in to return the favor.

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While Woods snaps out of it, Bray spikes Kofi and takes him out of the picture.

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Woods DOES snap out of it and unleashes a flurry of punches on Bray. He goes absolutely wild before Strowman climbs up on the apron to intervene. Strowman gets ahold of Woods but Big E is there to Spear Strowman through the ropes and down to the outside of the ring.

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Woods watched his buddy crash to the arena floor and when he turned around, a twisted Bray was crawling at him upside down with a smile on his face. Woods wouldn’t let that stop him tonight. He charged Bray but it wouldn’t be enough. Xavier became a sacrifice to Abigail and the Wyatt Family wins.

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Rusev (w/Lana) Vs. Zack Ryder – United States Championship Match

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The first thing I want to do is acknowledge Ryder’s gear. He says he’s paying homage to some childhood favorites; Sting, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, and The Ultimate Warrior. It’s US inspired specifically for this bout for the title and also because, ‘Merica.

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Ryder has not disappointed us at since the RAW after Mania. He’s been putting forth great effort and winning matches or at leas being competitive in them. This match is no exception. He really came to win! He’s having a better fight than anyone could’ve imagined and Rusev had better watch out!

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After fighting outside the ring, Ryder brings it back inside. Rusev looks to follow him and ends up catching a Rough Ryder! Zack quickly climbs the ropes to seal the deal with an EL-Bro Drop but Rusev gets his knees up to counter. Ryder is in pain and probably didn’t know what hit him after Rusev gives him one of those sweet kicks to the back of the head. Accolade is on. Ryder almost breaks free, but Rusev leans back and Ryder has no choice but to tap. Rusev wins.

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The beating wasn’t done yet. Rusev is looking to make an example out of Ryder when the most hype music of all time hits. It’s Mojo Rawley! He comes to his partner’s aide and Rysev high tails it out of there.

Rollins Ready

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We see #TeamRAW talking about the WWE Championship and what it would mean if one of their Superstars could manage to bring it back to RAW. Enter Seth Rollins. Stephanie and Mick give him a pep talk of a lifetime but his confidence is enough. He shares with the leaders of RAW how great he is and how confident he is about winning tonight. We shall see.

Sami Zayn Vs. Kevin Owens

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Yep. This is how it starts. Zayn enters the ring first, then Owens. Owens walks up the steps and immediately gets in Zayn’s face.

The fight almost instantly goes outside and it’s a legit brawl. They would eventually get back in the ring and turn the fight into a match. You can tell how well these two know each other and that they’ve had many a match together. The chemistry as always is real.

The match goes left when Zayn attempts that butt bouncing backflip thing and comes up just a little short. He lands on his shoulder and tweaks it. Owens uses this to his advantage and now it becomes all about the shoulder. Owens is viciously slamming Zayn’s arm into the post outside and utilizing a Crossface inside.

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But Zayn is resilient. Even after multiple clotheslines and a few Super Kicks, Zayn is able to land a Brain Buster on the apron.

That was a big swing. Owens was almost counted out. He slides back in at 9. Both men need a breather but both have too much fight left. They start doing that awkward punch thing they do.

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Zayn gets the better of Owens and Owens slides out to get a breather. Zayn slides out and sizes up Owens. He goes for his Tornado DDT through the ropes but catches a Super Kick instead. Owens runs back in and hits his cannonball. Then he climbs to the top and lands a Frog Splash. He goes for the pin and gets a 2 count.

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Still not enough to win. Owens would even land a Pop Up Powerbomb but he was too close to the ropes and didn’t hook the leg.

Owens got so mad that he just started slapping Zayn. Zayn gets up to his knees and tells Owens to bring it on. Owens backs away and runs at him. Zayn nails him with an Exploder Suplex, and then another Suplex! He sets up for the Helluva kick and then nails him with it. Instead of going for a pin, he catches Owens in his hands and stares at him.

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Sami leans Kevin up against the turnbuckle for one more kick. He nails him with it and gets a three count.

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Becky Lynch Vs. NatalyaBVSN

Unfortunately, this is the next match after such an intense and crazy rivalry match. That takes away from the energy and spirit of this current match. I mean, a legit rivalry or one that was manufactured by WWE just to have a month long storyline? You be the judge.

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Anyway, Nattie vs. Becky! This is definitely one of the more technical matches you’ll see in the WWE Women’s division. Harts gonna Hart. Nattie is showing that she can work a good Heel persona and that she has what it takes to do it. The entire match is something straight out of the 90s with Nattie working exclusively on Becky’s leg to tune her up for the finish. Becky is catching a serious beat down. Even when she tries to mount a comeback, it’s clear that her leg is slowing her down. Nattie is able to dig in a Sharpshooter but somehow Becky finds the ropes.

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Becky is finally getting it going. Maybe a little too much fire. She forces Nattie back into the corner and the ref breaks the two women up. Nattie is able to get her foot under the ref and between his legs to kick Becky in her injured leg unexpectedly. She uses this opening to lock in the Sharpshooter again and THIS time Becky taps out. Win for Heel Nattie!

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Make Way For the Champ

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SmackDown Commissioner Shane McMahon and his General Manager Daniel Bryan check in on Dean Ambrose. Bryan tries to get him fired up for the match but Ambrose doesn’t need all that. SmackDown DOES need the WWE Championship and Shane and Daniel aren’t afraid to put that kind of pressure on the champ. He seems like he can handle it.

The Miz (w/Maryse) Vs. Darren Young (w/Bob Backlund) – Intercontinental Championship Match

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We’re losing the crowd here people. No offense to any of these Superstars but the fans are still reeling after that Owns/Zayn match. After Darren Young & Bob come out, The Miz and Maryse come out wearing this:

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Is Miz a blinged out elephant demon or something? I don’t know, but okay. He enters the ring and goes to kiss his wife but he forgot he still has the mask on.

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I can’t lie, this match is some what of a drag. A lot of wristlocks and headlocks. Not many takedowns and no signature moves. It’s like watching an episode of WWE Superstars. Let’s figuratively fast forward to the action.

One cool moment: Miz taunts Backlund as he holds Young in one of those aforementioned headlocks:

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So Young was getting schooled almost the entire match. He only needed one opening to speed up the pace of the match and take control. Right when he looked to apply the Chicken Wing, Miz decided to bail on the match. Coach Backlund was having none of that. He blocked the path and forced him back to the ring where D. Young was waiting for him.

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Maryse wan’t happy about this and decided to give Bob a piece of her mind and a piece of her flesh. Slap time!

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Maryse feigns an injury and causes a commotion. Darren Young looks confused and Coach Backlund is livid.

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Maryse is saying Bob pushed her and of course Miz steps out to see what the problem is. He confronts Backlund who rips off his shirt and doesn’t back down. Miz pushes the legend to the ground and now Young gets involved.

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Darren Young is having none of this and assaults The Miz. He straps on the Crossface Chickenwing and the ref calls for the bell. I guess he feels he’s lost control of the match. Miz will retain and more officials will have to come down to get Darren off of him. Miz is finally freed but Darren wants back in. He pushes an official down (a BIG no-no) before he snaps back to reality. He looks at his hands (kind of like someone else used to do) and walks back up the ramp to the locker room.

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John Cena/Enzo & Cass Vs. The Club

The first 15 minutes of this segment were a video promo for the build up, Cena’s entrance, Enzo & Cass’ entrance and mic work (how you doin?) and The Club getting to the ring. Sheesh!

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When the match starts, Cena takes more of a hands off approach. This really looks like a handicap match. A 2 on 3 but somehow it’s even. Cena looks more like Hulk Hogan than ever before. He’s getting the crowd amped and showboating while staying on the apron in his corner.

Here’s where things get exciting.

Enzo needs a tag and Gallows is pounding on him. Gallows makes one mistake and misses a splash. Enzo tags in Cena and Gallows tags in Styles.

Stay with me here.

Cena goes shoulder, shoulder, back drop, 5 knuckle shuffle.

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He picks up AJ for the Attitude Adjustment but AJ flips out of it. He hits Cena with a Pele kick and both Superstars are on the mat.

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AJ gets up and knocks Enzo off the apron. He picks up Cena for Styles Clash but Enzo comes in to save the day. He hits AJ with a crazy looking Tornado DDT. Karl Anderson takes him out with a Spinebuster. Cass takes HIM out with a Fallaway Slam. Gallows takes out Cass with a Chokeslam Sit Out Powerbomb. Enzo is looking to fly. Gallows ducks and Enzo lands on Cena. Cena rolls thru and tosses Enzo at Gallows.

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Gallows drops Enzo and here comes AJ with the Phenomenal Forearm. Cena ducks and AJ takes out Gallows instead.

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Cena lands the AA on AJ and goes for the pin. Karl Anderson pulls Cena out the ring before 3. He Spinebusters Cena on the announce table and the ref starts counting. Cena JUST sneaks in at 9 and a quarter.

AJ gets up first and this time is able to land Styles Clash. He goes for the pin and Cass pulls him out of the ring, delivering a big boot and saving the match.

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Gallows attacks Cass from behind and the two take the fight in the ring. Cass is going for a Body Slam but Anderson breaks that up. The Club members are able to hit the Magic Killer on Big Cass.

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Enzo is left alone to take on The Club.

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Anderson runs himself into a post so now it’s one on one. With one good kick, Enzo is floored. Cena rolls back into the ring. Gallows is looking to take him out while Styles is climbing to the top turnbuckle as well. Gallows charges Cena and misses in the corner. Cena bounces off the ropes causing Styles to fall and clotheslines Gallows to the outside.

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Cena rushes back to AJ Styles and attempts a Super AA. Styles tries to fight out of it. but Super Cena is too strong. Cena hits the AA and his team wins.

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The Highlight Reel w/ Special Guest Randy Orton

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Jericho comes out and talks everyone’s ears off before Orton comes comes out! We’ve all waited 9 months for this.

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Orton gets in the ring and his eyes light up. He speaks on enjoying his family time but feeling like he was missing something. He missed the ring. He wanted to come back and do it right by taking on Lesnar, as opposed to how Jericho came back to fight Fandango. Jericho has been poking the bear this entire time. He questioned Orton’s intelligence and insinuated that he was afraid of The Beast which is why the two have never fought each other, even though they came into the WWE together. Orton had some strong words for Lesnar and brushed off a lot of what Jericho was spewing out.

“It only takes one RKO to get to Viperville. No enhancement needed.” – Randy Orton

Every time Jericho said something rude or disrespectful, he asked Orton if he was gonna give him an RKO outta nowhere. Orton just smiled. Jericho told him to watch out before he catches a Codebreaker outta nowhere.

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Jericho says he knows someone close to Lesnar and they wanted to relay a message to Orton. Pretty much, Lesnar plans on ripping off his shoulder and beating him with his arm. Jericho continues to tell Orton to focus on Lesnar. Orton kees his cool but he’s getting real fidgety. Jericho notices and again chides him about his RKO. Jericho is unthreatened and even tells Orton that he doesn’t believe he’s gonna do anything. Jericho turns his back on Orton….

and Orton does nothing really. He’s just kidding. He just makes it LOOK like he was going to —

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#RKOOuttaNowhere

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Ladies and gentlemen, HE’S BACK!!!

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Dean Ambrose Vs. Seth Rollins Vs. Roman Reigns – WWE Championship Match

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This is it. The battle of former brothers. The champ is the only one representing SmackDown. Reigns returns and Rollins seeks to prove that he was always the best. This is it!

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This match is a big deal. Both GMs and Commissioners have ringside seats, and both locker rooms are on the edge of their seats. If Ambrose wins, all of the SmackDown competitors can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that they have a chance to become champion. RAW has 2 shots at bringing home the gold. What brand will come out on top and who will be the champion at nights end?

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The best entrance goes to Roman Reigns. Epic beard. Booed before his music even started.

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The future of the WWE are all in the ring. Jo Jo does her thing and the ref is ready to call for the bell and start the match.

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As soon as the match starts, Rollins is up to know good. He taunts his former brothers by putting his fist out. He goes to both guys and tries to get some “love”. Neither is having it and Reigns quickly tosses him out the ring.

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Reigns looks at Rollins then Ambrose. He doesn’t want to fight Ambrose just yet so he follows Seth outside the ring. Seth runs back in and Ambrose sends him out again. Reigns throws him around and back into the ring. Rollins ducks an Ambrose clothesline, and Reigns follows up with a clothesline that send Rollins back out to the floor. Reigns looks down at Rollins and Ambrose makes his move. Ambrose steps up behind Reigns and goes for the roll up.Reigns kicks out at two. He glares at Ambrose and Ambrose grins.

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The same thing happens when Rollins gets back in the ring but this time, Reigns goes for the pin on Ambrose. The two have it out in the middle of the ring and Reigns seems stronger somehow. Ambrose attempted a cross body and bounced right off of him. Safe to say, no ring rust. Rollins slides back in and takes control of the situation. He keeps Reigns down in the corner while Ambrose recovers in another. This wouldn’t last for long as Reigns would quickly take control. Ambrose and Rollins consult each other about Reigns. They decide that he’s too strong to take alone. They team up on him and try to Powerbomb him in the middle of the ring. Reigns fights out of it. Ambrose would manage to get Reigns out the ring and he and Rollins would dive on him. They see their opportunity again, but this time it’s the announce table. They toss off the cover, remove the TVs and they do manage to put him through it.

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Rollins and Ambrose fall to the ground and take a breather. Rollins digs under the ring and finds a chair. No one is safe when Rollins has a chair.

After working on Reigns, Rollins grabs Ambrose and rolls him in the ring. He’s looking to end it quick but Ambrose has other plans. The two duke it out and end up on the top rope with Ambrose looking for a Superplex. Reigns slides in and has a Powerbomb party, dropping both men with bombs. Guess he wanted revenge for the table.

Rollins rolls out of the ring leaving Reigns and Ambrose to duke it out. After a stiff punch, Ambrose bounces off the ropes looking for his patented clothesline but is met with a Superman punch instead that sends him out of the ring. Rollins sneaks in from the other side and surprises Reigns with a kick and a Pedigree.

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Reigns is somehow able to kick out at 2 and 3 quarters! Rollins tries another Pedigree but Reigns blocks it. Rollins recovers and picks Reigns up for a Bucklebomb. Reigns hits the turnbuckle but bounces off and hits Rollins with a Superman punch. He follows that up with a Spear!

Reigns goes for the pin but Ambrose slides in and picks him up. He hits Reigns with Dirty Deeds and the WWE Championship is coming home to SmackDown!

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The entire SmackDown locker room comes down to celebrate. They lift up the champ and parade him around. What does this mean for RAW? Will they ever see the WWE Championship again or will they have to go without? Will they just have to make a new title or un-retire a classic? We may find out tomorrow.

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Yes, The Usos carry Dean Ambrose after pinning their cousin. Because brand loyalty baby!!!

Battleground Preview

The battlefield has been set, the warriors are prime for war and Vince McMahon is somewhere sweating bullets in hopes that all goes smoothly. WWE Battleground is here. There are so many things to look forward to tonight; Nattie working as a heel, Sasha’s mystery partner, Xavier Woods facing his fears, and the return of….Randy Orton!

Kickoff Show

The Usos Vs. Breezango

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The Usos are coming back from a bit of a vacation while Breezango has seen a lot of action lately. All the rust in the world won’t stop the Dynamic Uso Brothers from flying all over Breezango. I believe this match will be more entertaining than we’d like to think. With the draft having just happened, who knows? Maybe we see a split in either team. A lot of Superstars saw the draft as a chance for a fresh start. Will Jimmy Superkick Jey sparking a war? Is it too soon for a split? Will this just be a solid tag match without any bells or whistles? I like whistles. Usos Win. Breezango split.

Main Card

Becky Lynch Vs. Natalya

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No more run ins and canceled matches! The way these two have been going at it, this had better be a FIGHT. Expect to see slaps and disrespect. Trash talking will come at a premium and stiff shots will come a plenty. It will be interesting to see how Nattie works as a legitimate heel. It doesn’t really fit her personality but it’s been growing on her on twitter. WWE has kept both Superstars from having any real matches this month so it’s safe to say there’s a lot of trust being poured upon these women. A Hart rarely disappoints and with Becky looking to make a statement neither will she. They should finally get a match longer than 10 minutes and Becky will probably do something that makes a 2016 highlight reel. Becky Wins. Establishes herself as the top woman of SmackDown, for now…

The Highlight Reel (w/ Randy Orton)

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Speaking of Highlight Reel, here it is! Randy Orton returns and we’re not sure if he’s a heel or a face or a part-timer or fully healed! So many questions but don’t expect many answers. Jericho is one of those guys who like to hear themselves talk. He’ll ask Orton a rhetorical question or two and then, there will be a Lesnar sighting! Yes, I predict Brock Lesnar will appear and stir the pot, creating some kind of heat for the SummerSlam match. Maybe one suplex and an almost RKO before Lesnar slips out, grins, and walks away. Lesnar steals the Reel. Orton is the Baby Face.

United States Championship Match – Rusev (w/Lana) Vs. Zack Ryder

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Zack Ryder has picked up a bunch of wins all over WWE programming in the past month. He even caused Rusev to get pinned by Dolph Ziggler. I don’t know how he’s done it but he’s worked himself into a title match. Unlike some of the other women, Lana doesn’t need to resort to cheap ploys and interference for her man to win. Ryder is a solid worker with a not so special move set. He does a lot of things well but nothing blows you out of the water  with him. Rusev wins easy. Mojo Rawley makes an appearance.

Intercontinental Championship Match – The Miz (w/Maryse) Vs. Darren Young (w/Bob Backlund)

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The Miz is doing his best Triple H with the World Heavyweight title impression right about now. Putting on great matches with everyone who comes his way while holding on dearly to his title by any means necessary. Darren Young lucked his way into this match by surviving a Battle Royal match a few weeks ago. This is our first chance to see what Darren Young as a singles competitor can do. With a Hall of Famer like Bob Backlund in his corner, we should see a well rounded technical move set that’s not quite ready to steal the show just yet. Young has all the charisma in the world but his current character can actually play dead in the front lawn on garbage day. The Darren Young we SEE is good enough for 8 minutes of The Miz’s time. The Darren Young that we project, will have the IC title for a CM Punk-like reign. Miz Wins. Maryse with shenanigans help Miz escape the Chicken Wing.

Charlotte & Dana Vs. Sasha Banks & ???

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The ONLY thing worth noting about this match is who Sasha’s mystery partner will be?! This should’ve been a singles match for the WWE Woman’s Championship but I guess we’ll get that at SummerSlam. In order for that to make sense, Dana will tap to the Bank Statement or be pinned again. Banks wins. Bayley is the mystery partner.

The New Day Vs. The Wyatt Family

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In pure strength, the Wyatts have the New Day outmatched. The champs have the crowd and the Power of Positivity on their side. This is a non title match so what we want to see here is the return of Luke Harper or Braun Strowman be a monster. It’ll be interesting to see what Xavier Woods does. New Day was drafted by RAW and Bray by SmakDown so this will have to be the end of their feud. Who should win and come out strong? The champions of course! New Day wins. Xavier gets the pin and takes a deep breath.

Kevin Owens Vs. Sami Zayn

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They will fight forever. There is no end to their feud. They’re worse than HBK and Trips and like HBK and Trips, this match will probably steal the show. Owens Wins. Zayn has the most tweeted moment of the night.

Cena, Cas & Enzo Vs. The Club

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How ya doin? The Club has gotten over on all three of these guys every week since MITB. As great as they are, they’re not truly that dominant. It’s not a team of Stone Colds and Brock Lesnars. They are humans that operate like a machine. So it would make sense if The Club wins but more than likely Cena goes Super and his team goes over. That would make the PPV score between Styles and Cena 1-1, setting up a big match at SummerSlam. You REALLY think the WWE would pass up this opportunity? Club No! Cena & company win. AJ challenges Cena to a match at SummerSlam.

WWE Championship Match – Dean Ambrose Vs. Seth Rollins Vs. Roman Reigns

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The Shield face off. This can’t be it. Battleground? WWE Battleground is where this happens? This just can’t be. There’s a catch in here somewhere. Where’s the hidden camera? In my most bold prediction of the night, the match concludes without a definitive winner. The rematch is scheduled for SummerSlam and until then, the title is vacated. No one wins, match is bumped up to Summer Slam.