RAW 8/8/16

Bada Boom

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Enzo & Cass start us off tonight and Y2J is the topic of discussion. Enzo is a bit salty about the sneaky Codebreaker he received after the mixed tag match, as well as all the blockage coming from Jericho when he was trying to holla at Sasha Banks. Jericho comes out with his new buddy and it’s his turn to speak.

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Y2J has an axe to grind as well. He feels that Enzo does a lot of talking but when it comes down to it, Cass does all the dirty work. He knows he can’t beat these guys on his own so he’s formed an alliance with Kevin Owens.At some point we may see a tag match but for now we’ll be seeing Enzo Vs. Jericho. Owens and Cass will stay at ringside for support.

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Chris Jericho (w/Kevin Owens) Vs. Enzo Amore (w/Big Cass)

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Jericho and Enzo square off. The blood is starting to smell questionable but I wouldn’t call it bad just yet. Enzo has some fight in him but Jericho has more. After fighting out of The Walls, Enzo is making a comeback. Things are looking up for Mr. Amore until Owens grabs his leg from outside.

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That’s just enough of a distraction for Jericho to land a Codebreaker. Before things start looking lopsided, Cass interjects. He nails Jericho with a Big Boot giving Jericho the win via DQ. Jeri-KO summon their inner Bo Dallas as they celebrate ‘their’ victory. Cass wants some action. He challenges Jeri-KO to a tag team match at SummerSlam and they accept.

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Boss Problems

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Sasha Banks has had enough of Dana Brooke interfering in her matches with Charlotte. She finds Mick Foley and asks for a handicap match. Foley does her one better. He sets up a one on one match, Banks Vs. Brooke. If Sasha wins, Dana Brooke will be banned from ringside at SummerSlam. If Sasha loses, her match at SummerSlam becomes a Handicap match. Sasha accepts with a smile on her face.

Braun Strowman Vs. Jorel Nelson

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Byron Saxton is having a lot of fun asking these local competitors what’s going through their mind every week before they face Braun Strowman. This week, the guy is so scared that he has absolutely nothing to say! He takes his beating like a man and Strowman even drags him a bit. It looked like that Hulk/Loki scene from The Avengers. Ouch.

Puff in the House

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Diddy makes his first appearance of the night and so do New Day! Minus Big E of course. Diddy invites Foley to the Bad Boy Reunion Tour and gives him tickets. The New Day come in and Diddy asks about the status of Big E. The four pass around a box of Booty Os while Kofi raps about how bald The Club is. Kofi and Xavier ask for Puff’s assistance and he obliges.

Titus O’Neil Vs. Darren Young (w/Coach Backlund)

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The match starts with a show of disrespect from both men, a slap battle. That old Primetime Players rivalry is brewing again. Titus is just a physical specimen. Darren shouldn’t stand a chance. It’s looking like it’s gonna be a repeat of last week when Darren rolls Titus up and pulls his tights returning the favor! Of course Coach Backlund was conveniently looking away while all of this was happening. Young steals a victory.

Rollins Speaks

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Seth Rollins truly feels some type of way about Finn Bálor. He doesn’t like his ‘arrogance’ and his blatant lack of respect for all of Rollins accomplishments. Rollins even goes as far as breaking down the name Finn Bálor and explaining what it means. Finn means Famous Warrior and Bálor, Demon King. Last week, Bálor accused Rollins of being privileged and having his title opportunity handed to him. Rollins believes that everything he’s done in the past and the way he returned from injury are reason enough to be in the match. Everything that Finn has impressed the WWE Universe with, Rollns has done first and done it better. Rollins claims that at SummerSlam he’ll just be adding to his already stacked legacy.

Sheamus Vs. Cesaro

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It’s revealed that Mick Foley wants this match to happen again. He wants more physicality and a dominant victory. After the brawl that occurred last week, we should hopefully be in for a good one.

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Cesaro/Sheamus II of the New Era is a classic! True strong style with a modern twist. Cesaro tries a Neutralizer using the same counter from last week but Sheamus wouldn’t let that happen two weeks in a row. Sheamus goes for a Brogue that Cesaro is able to duck and slide under for a roll up which Sheamus kicks out of.

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Things get wacky after Cesaro Irish Whips Sheamus into the corner. The ref is caught in the middle of the two and takes an awkward shot to the eyes when Sheamus reaches over him. A stiff elbow catches Cesaro and Sheamus rolls him up for a pin. The ref is still getting his eyes sorted out and is unable to count for Sheamus. Upset, Sheamus starts yelling at the ref, providing Cesaro with an opportunity for a roll up. This time, the ref is okay enough to count and Cesaro comes away with a victory.

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Orton/Lesnar Origins

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Just so we’re clear here, these guys aren’t friends nor do they have much respect for each other. It may have been kayfabe but it definitely came off like a shoot. Both sides are ready and have points to prove. This is shaping together nicely.

The Dudley Boyz Vs. Neville & Sin Cara

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Two high flyers team up to take on a couple of brothers from Dudleyville! The Dudleyz just haven’t been the same since facing Enzo and Cass. Actually, most Superstars representing the New Era have had their way with The Dudleyz. Today wouldn’t be much different. Neville has a gift for Devon. It rhymes with Fed Sparrow.

Rusev & Lana Wedding Celebration

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The ring is all decked out with cake and a red carpet and frilly curtain drapey things. Lana and Rusev are dressed very nicely and they brag about their love that no one is interested in. They show a slideshow of their weekend wedding. The Universe is not really into this. Neither is someone in the back.

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Roman Reigns crashes the party and the WWE Universe isn’t sure if they should boo him as usual, or cheer for saving the day. Reigns has good intentions. He was in the back watching the video clips like everyone else and saw that Rusev didn’t have a best man. He took it upon himself to fill that role. Really, it was all just a ploy to ask for a title shot. Rusev denied the request and Reigns decided to roast the newlyweds. RuRu didn’t take kindly to this and put a hurting on Reigns. Reigns was able to retaliate and push Rusev backwards. Rusev bumped into Lana and Lana into the cake! Frosting everywhere, Reigns out. Lana is pink and upset, Rusev is chest hair and anger.

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Foley is G..M

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Rusev and Lana find GM Foley in the back and demand he do something about Roman Reigns’ interruption and the hot pink mess that is Lana. Foley first tells Rusev to take responsibility for his actions (bumping into Lana) and then tells him that he can have his revenge by

Sasha Banks Vs. Dana Brooke (w/Charlotte)

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Charlotte accompanies her protege for this one. Dana has taken so many Ls against Sasha that she should be worried. Charlotte is feeling the pressure of being the challenger and probably regrets exiling her father. Dana is her support system. Dana is her security blanket. Dana is actually looking good in this match. She’s more than holding her own and taking control of this match.

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Heels are gonna Heel so it was only a matter of time before Charlotte decided to get in the mix. Dana’s been coached very well and to thank her mentor, she brings Sasha to the ropes so that Charlotte can score a cheap shot. Sasha is able to duck it and Charlotte would strike Dana instead. Before Charlotte can react, Sasha catches her with a kick. Dana tries a shoulder thrust but misses. She gets hung up on the ropes and Banks is able to score a victory thanks to a pair of knees to the midsection. The Boss makes a statement without using the Bank Statement.

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Bálor: The Demon King

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Finn Bálor gives us a deeper look into his history, his culture, and the origin of his name. He speaks deeply about legendary Irish warriors and demons. A very well spoken and passionate telling. He’s not arrogant, he’s confident. He’s by no means a fluke. Seth Rollins has gotten under his skin enough that Bálor believes it’s time for him to introduce Seth Rollins to the Demon. The Demon King will be at SummerSlam.

Ringpost-itis

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Gallows and Anderson are back at it again. Have you ever seen a tag team so goofy and dangerous? Kofi had better watch out. Word on the street is that he will be the next person to suffer from Ringpost-itis.

Luke Gallows (w/Karl Anderson) Vs. Kofi Kingston (w/Xavier Woods)

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Kofi Kingston has a bunch of spunk but Fake Kane is a force. A couple of flips and kicks may have shaken up the big man, but Gallows squashes Kingston  like a bug. Luke ends the match with a Flapjack of all moves.

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Just as advertised, there’s more action to be had! Gallows and Anderson look to make sure that Kofi suffers the same fate that Big E has. Where ya at Woods? The Club line up Kingston for the fatal blow but Woods comes flying in with a chair, the great equalizer. New Day, the titles, and all of their body parts are safe….for now.

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Golden Truth, Where Are You?

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Goldust runs into Scooby Doo and the Mystery Machine! R-Truth hops out of the Mystery Machine shouting some mumbo jumbo about flies. Truth is shocked to see Goldust with Scooby and it makes him a little jealous. Truth tries to fight Scooby but Goldust breaks it up. Somehow Goldust gets everyone to play nice and bond over some Scooby Snacks.

From GM to GM

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Daniel Bryan is here. Yes? The goal is to create a tradition of brotherhood and put an end to all these Lesnar/Orton cross-brand shenanigans. It’s supposed to be a battle on paper, not one by mouth or interruption. The GMs claim to be on the same page but they can’t stop taking digs at each other. Foley calls Bryan out for being phony and making fun of the name for RAW’s new heavyweight title. Apparently, someone on the RAW roster agrees.

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Rusev comes out (in ring attire for some reason) to defend his brand and his GM. Daniel Bryan thinks he’s sucking up to Foley to get out f his match with Roman Reigns. Rusev doesn’t take these words lightly. He threatens to crush Daniel Bryan. Luckily for DB, he’s saved by the siren.

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Cesaro takes this moment to interject. He feels that based on what Mick said last week, he deserves a title shot soon. Daniel Bryan takes a moment to add his two cents on how RAW has (or hasn’t) been using Cesaro. Foley doesn’t want these problems so he grants Cesaro a title match, here and now.

Cesaro Vs. Rusev – United States Championship Match

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Cesaro comes out quick, trying to put Rusev away immediately. They go back and forth until Cesaro eventually gets Rusev swinging. He locks in a Sharpshooter and it appears that Rusev might just tap.

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Sheamus runs down the ramp looking to interfere. Cesaro thwarts that attempt but takes a kick to the head from the United States champ. Rusev covers, two count.

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Rusev goes for The Accolade but Cesaro counters, pushing him into the referee and Sheamus. Cesaro hits a Dutch Neutralizer but the ref isn’t there to count. By the time the ref gets up, it’s only a two count.

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Rusev pokes Cesaro in the eye and he falls almost out of the ring. Sheamus kicks Cesaro from outside and Cesaro is again met with a kick but from the inside. Rusev wins.

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After turning what seemed like a bad night into a victory, Rusev is on top of the world.

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And then the Big Dog comes and ruins it for him. No heel turn necessary.

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