Impact Wrestling (7/28/16)

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TV14 wrestling at its finest! Back at it again on a Thursday and we’ll be continuing the BFG playoffs. We’ve got some great programming ahead so let’s get to it.

‘Broken’

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Matt and Rebecca Hardy make their way to the stage. Reby stays there and Matt saunters down to the ring. He grabs a microphone and demands that Brother Nero come to the ring. It’s starting to make sense as to why Reby stayed on the stage. For some reason Matt is listing off people that hold a place in his heart and it is a VERY short list. Jeff isn’t on it, but he WAS at one point! Back to the crazy scene at hand. That #1 hit classic by Matt and Vanguard One that made its debut last week has returned! Man I hate that “song”. Reby of course follows Jeff down to the ring saying, “obsolete,” every few seconds. Jeff makes it to the ring and Matt reminds him that he is nothing because that’s what brothers do. Matt really wants the TNA World Heavyweight title back. He commands Jeff to help him win his match tonight by any means necessary. EC3 has heard enough and now he’s entering the mix.

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“I am not asking for your help, I am commanding your servitude!” – Matt Hardy

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EC3 comes out straight shooting. Matt Hardy is making weird faces at him. Ethan looks puzzled.

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Now Ethan is making weird faces too!

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Matt tries to talk over EC3 but Ethan shouts,”My promo’s not oh-vah!”  He gets the crowd to chant, “Relevant, Creature,” at Jeff Hardy but he does still warn Jeff not to get involved. Matt Hardy goes back to Crazyville and  threatens to eat Ethan’s cats, Skunk & Clover. That was the last straw for Ethan and he called for a ref to come down and start the match.

‘Broken’Matt Hardy Vs. ‘EC3’ Ethan Carter III

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It’s beyond obvious that this isn’t the same Matt nor is this the same EC3 that fought each other months ago for the title. Ethan has become a crowdpleaser and somewhat of an underdog. Matt is just plain crazy. He proved that by biting Ethan several times in this match. Matt did happen to have a gameplan. He worked on one of Ethan’s legs, even taking his boot off and trying to bite his foot. It’s not that deep bro!

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After a TK3, Ethan was gaining momentum. Reby climbed up on the apron to distract the ref. She was able to slide a hammer to Jeff Hardy across the ring. That’s the same hammer she used last week on James Storm.

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While the ref is trying to figure out exactly what she’s doing on the apron, EC3 goes for a One Percenter. Matt drives both men forward and they bang into the ref who then bumps into Reby knocking her off the apron. They end up double clotheslining each other. Jeff, conflicted by life at the moment, takes the hammer and slides it into the ring between both competitors. While the ref is worried about a befallen Rebecca, Matt gets to the hammer. Before he can swing it (and he was aiming HIGH) the ref turns around and snatches it from him. While disposing of it, EC3 hits Hardy with the boot he had lost earlier which makes Matt a little loopy. Carter hits a One Percenter and the match is oh-vah!

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I Did It For Me, Not You

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Allie and Maria walk up on Madison Rayne somewhere in the back of the arena. Allie is getting annoying even for Maria’s taste and Madison tells her about herself. Maria wants to talk business and maybe add another member to her cabinet. Madison Rayne isn’t down to play ball. She has a lot of respect for Gail Kim but she did what she did for herself. She makes it clear to Maria that she will not be a pawn but since she IS playing the game, she wants to know the prize. Maria tells her to focus on winning her match with Kim before thinking so far ahead.

What’s Worse Than Deletion?

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After his loss to EC3, Matt is upset. He approaches Jeff in the back and tells him that his actions (or lack there of) will not go unpunished. Jeff explodes! Well, verbally. He asks Matt, “What the (expletive) is worse than deletion?” At this point he’d rather just be punished and he literally asks for it. Matt is enjoying this. He’s finally seeing his unbreakable brother start to bend.

Madison Rayne Vs. Gail Kim

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So Madison Rayne turned on Gail Kim for a potential fortune? No one is quite sure what a win against the future Hall of Famer would entail, but Madison has already sold her soul. I mean, it’s just a soul! One on one, Madison would hold her own in this match. The pressure would eventually get the best of her and she would lose sight of the goal. That sneaky Gail Kim. She strikes again! Defeat was eaten.

The Miraculous Moose

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Moose is here. REALLY here. It’s official. He has t-shirts now and they don’t say ROH. But this is about Mike Bennett. He’s done a lot since coming from ROH himself, and with Moose by his side he could be the next TNA World Heavyweight Championship. He has Drew Galloway tonight and he’s already beaten him once. Confidence people.

Brameo & Rosemaryette

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Bram meets Rosemary in a discreet location. Apparently, it’s where the two ‘began’. Rosemary grew up on a farm in this area. She tells a story of her younger years. Her cat was sick one day and she took it to her mother. Her mom assured her that everything would be okay. Rosemary went on about her day drawing, daydreaming, and walking. She went to throw her gum in the trash and found her dead cat in the trash. It shook her to the core. She climbed a tree and ended up falling down and passing out. When she came to, she had the ability to see some dark and strange things. She heard voices. She talked to trees. She played with Tarot cards. She claimed to have invisible brothers.

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Bram is a bit put off by all of this and he’s sure to let her know. He didn’t come out here for such a crazy and dark tale. Rosemary says, she didn’t bring him out her for the story. She points at a barn. THAT’s why they’re here. To be continued….

Moose (w/ The Miracle) Vs. David Starr

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I have no idea who David Starr is but boy can he take a powerbomb on the apron! It looks like Moose ditched the Spear in favor of a move he learned while in Japan. He took the Rain Maker, modified it, and called it the Game Breaker. He ran through this jobber guy like a hot chainsaw through unsalted butter.

That’s not all! Lashley still has a bone to pick with the new man on campus. His music hits and he makes his way down the ramp.

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Lashley and Moose face off in the ring. Mike Bennett is doing his best to get the crowd hyped. In true Heel fashion, Bennett backs Moose away and the two leave Lashley standing alone in the ring. Lashley shares some choice words, Moose ALMOST comes back to the ring but Bennett calms his beast.

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“One of these days your Mommy’s gonna let you come out and play, but until then keep walking off just like a little (expletive).” – Lashley

With the two ROH goons gone, Lashley is free to speak his mind. This is his first time speaking to us since he won the X Division title last week. He says he wants all the gold. If there’s a singles title out there, he’s coming for it. He’ll also be accepting all challenges. In order to destroy the entire roster, you gotta be available.

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Someone has already decided to step up to the plate and he goes by the name of DJZ. Hey DJ! He’s not quite sure about “stopping” the force that is Lashley, but he’s willing to fight! He wants that X Division championship and he thinks he has an advantage if he has an X Division type of match. Lashley tells him to pick his poison and DJZ chooses a ladder match.

‘The Destroyer’ Lashley Vs. DJZ – X Division Championship Ladder Match

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Lashley is by no means a traditional X Division Champion, but you gotta give him credit where it’s due. On one hand you have Mike Bennett who weaseled his way into the X Division title just to squander it away, and in the strong hand you have Lashley who for some reason felt like lifting weights on top of a ladder. DJZ had maybe 2 and a half good moments in this match, but they don’t call Lashley the Destroyer for no reason.

Calm Heads

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Drew Galloway and EC3 meet up in the back and this time there are no flying fists or criticisms. I think it’s safe to say that this is back to being a fierce and competitive rivalry. EC3 even offers a hand to watch Moose while Galloway is taking on The Miracle but of course Galloway had to decline. That’s how we got into this mess in the first place. Galloway had better watch his front, his back, and who says they’re on his side.

Bram & Rosemary II

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Back to the lovebirds. Bram is comforting. Rosemary is insecure but she trusts in Bram and is able to confide in him unlike anyone she’s ever met. Now if only she can stop having flashbacks of talking to trees and imaginary players. What exactly is going on here? Why is Bram dressed like Jeff Hardy? And where is Decay? Find out next time on Impact Wrestling!

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Fact of Life with your host Eli Drake

 

Eli Drake heard what Lashley had to say about claiming all the gold and he likes the idea. He likes the idea alright, but for himself! He wants a shot at the dual champ, 2 titles against 1. Right as he is about to call out the champ, a well timed interruption occurs.

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It’s ‘The Cowboy’ James Storm! He wants that King of the Hill championship and he’s coming for it! He actually has a lot of nice things to say about Eli Drake but he’s disappointed in how he carries himself. Drake declines and tries to dismiss The Cowboy. Storm hits him with a Yo Momma joke and Drake loses it. He doesn’t quite cave in but he does give Storm some stipulations. He will give Storm a title shot but if he loses, he has to stop drinking beer, stop driving the Boozer Cruiser, and do something about his music. And then, shenanigans.

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Drake hits a BFT and leaves James Storm on his back with no beer. Yikes.

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 The Fixer

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I’ve been ignoring this for a month now and you should too!

Getting It Fixed?

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Grado and Shera are outnumbered and they seek the services of The Fixer. His price is way too high, he needs to cut it. What will they do? Who will help them? Tyrus isn’t gonna do it. 2 on 3 is a beatdown waiting to happen.

Decay Vs. The BroMans – TNA Tag Team Championship Match

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A Monster’s Ball match? How bout a let’s fight right now in the back match?! The two tag teams battle it out for the gold before we hit a commercial break.When we come back, they’ve finally made it to the ring.Weapons galore. This match is probably 95% weapon usage and 5% flexing. Check out Crazy Steve getting slammed into thumbtacks!

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Abyss saves the day and the match with a chokeslam on a board with barbed wire and Decay retain without the services of Rosemary!

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Drew Galloway Vs. ‘The Miracle’ Mike Bennett

Mike comes out with Maria today. Great sight. Also, no Moose. I wonder why? Galloway comes out and before he can make it to the ring Moose attacks him from behind.

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Well that just makes sense. Moose powerbombs Galloway on the apron and throws him in the ring. I bet Drew wishes he took EC3 up on his offer.

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Galloway enters the match at an extreme disadvantage and that’s exactly how Bennett likes it. If you know anything about Drew Galloway, you know that nothing will stop him from competing. He fights his way into a fair match, he brings it back and evens it up. The fight comes to a head in the center of the ring. Drew is spinning Bennett around like a helicopter softening him up for a Future Shock DDT. Bennett gets free and hits Galloway with a discus punch. He goes for it again and nails the ref instead!

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Galloway is able to hit his DDT but there’s no ref! Moose comes back and levels Galloway. He leaves the ring and Bennett tries to capitalize by slinging his arm over Galloway. 2 count. The ref is still a bit woozy so there’s more time for shenanigans. EC3 comes down to even things up. He’s able to take out Moose. Maria sneaks a Kendo stick into the ring,but EC3 grabs it. He swings for Bennett and comes up with Galloway!

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EC3 is visibly frustrated with himself and Moose is able to pull him out of the ring and hit him with a Game Breaker. Mike Bennett would pick up Galloway and plant him with the MIP. Bennett is going to the finals, and Galloway is going after EC3 undoubtedly.

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