Impact Wrestling (7/21/16)

The First 30 Minutes

The Bound For Glory playoffs start tonight! Will we be seeing Moose again? Is The Miracle done wrecking things? Will Jeff Hardy ever be the same? Let’s watch.

The Land of Deletion

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We see Jeff Hardy AKA Obsolete Mule with his motorcycle. He’s facing the demons of having been deleted. He’s a nice guy to just be okay with being deleted. He just needs some fresh air and a nice ride, maybe hit a few jumps to clear his head. Matt appears, annoying as ever. Matt taunts him. H reminds him that the very ground they stand on is the same place that Jeff broke his leg forcing the Hardy’s as a tag team to come to an end. The obsolete word is being thrown around again and Jeff has had it. Matt sees Jeff go for his bike and challenges him to try it. He tells Jeff that if he tries a jump, he won’t land it because he’s a failure and history repeats itself.

About Last Week…

Lashley

The TNA World Heavyweight Champion is the first person to be in the ring tonight. Lashley vents about what happened last week and it sounds like he wants a piece of this Moose character. Mike Bennett and Moose hear what Lashley has to say and they respond with their presence. Moose and Lashley have a rather intense staring battle while The Miracle belts out his I told you sos and I deserves. Lashley invites Moose into the ring for a fight and on his way to the ring, Eddie Edwards runs down and bashes him from behind. Bennett jumps in and then Lashley. All four men are brawling outside the ring until we see and hear Dixie on the big screen. She gets everyone in order and tells Mike to stay in the ring because his match will be first. Moose is barred from ringside and if he interferes in the match in any way, Mike Bennett will be fired on the spot.

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Jeff Hardy’s music hits but we see Matt and Reby. Matt talks about intellectual properties, deletion, and obsolete mules. He says he will allow Jeff to compete but he has something for us to see.

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Deletion Part II

We see the conclusion of the Hardy convo from the start. Jeff tries to shake it off. He yells in Matt’s face that he will succeed and gets on his bike. He revs up and flies towards the dirt hill. He goes up with the bike and comes down without it. Matt was right and he IS the type to say, “I told you so.” Jeff is pretty banged up from falling off his bike and Matt is sure to let The Miracle know about. Matt says that he and his drone, Vanguard One have made a special song for Jeff’s entrance. There’s no music. It’s just one sentence followed by Reby yelling the word obsolete. Kind of like last week!

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“I’ll fade away and classify myself as obsolete.” – Vanguard One

The Miracle Vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff has no business in the ring. The motorcycle accident really has him in bad shape. His left arm is all taped up and Mike Bennett targets it from the jump. Jeff never gets it going and even The Creatures can’t get him going. He doesn’t soar, he doesn’t fly, and he doesn’t kick out when The Miracle hits him with a Cutter. Easy win for Mike Bennett.

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After the match, Matt excuses Jeff from the ring and reigns down more insults. He calls for his opponent and promises another deletion which I guess means Matt Hardy victory. Why is THAT the Boozer Cruiser? I think it is! The Cowboy is here!

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Matt Hardy Vs. James Storm

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Here’s what I like to see. Two proven veterans going back and forth giving the other fits. Anyone can win this match and they both know it. It appears that Matt wants it more. He’s willing to do so much to touch the strap of that championship. The fight goes off into the crowd. Matt gets flipped around a few times and Storm even drives the Boozer Cruiser into him. They take it back to ringside. Both competitors are wearing down. They’ve done a lot of damage. Hardy landed a Side Effect on the apron and Storm hit Closing Time. Storm would get the advantage and setup for the Last Call. Reby, who you’d almost forget was there is now holding a hammer. She sneaks up and bashes Storm in the ankle with it. Matt is able to hit a Twist of Fate and win the match. I have no idea where Reby got the hammer from.

From the Wolf’s Mouth

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After the brawl that started the show, Eddie is ready to keep it going. He’s confident going into his match with Lashley because he’s been in the ring with him now. The main event couldn’t happen sooner.

Mike & Moose

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Moose paces back and forth while Mike whines about something or another. The Miracle is 2 wins away from a title shot. Moose stops walking and starts yelling. He’s irritated. He wants Lashley bad. Lashley called him out and Moose doesn’t like that. Bennett tries to calm him down but Moose isn’t hearing it. Is Moose gonna get The Miracle fired?

A Message From the 1%

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EC3 was a heel for a long time. He realized the error of his ways and he’s done his best to redeem himself. He takes a moment to sit and talk to the fans. He vows to do this the right way and get the Heavyweight title back. He gets interrupted by his current rival, Drew Galloway.

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Galloway commends EC3 on his mic work and in ring ability but he knocks him for his last name. Being related to Dixie Carter HAS helped Ethan in the past but he’s been on the straight and narrow for a while now. Drew says he didn’t come down here to fight but those are fighting words! Drew did the math and the only time the two will have a chance to face off would be in the Bound For Glory Finals. The two are pushing each other’s buttons but not going past the point of no return. Ethan makes one too many jokes and now it’s time to fight. Ethan throws his jacket and gets right in the face of Galloway.

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Someone is going to get punched but before that can happen, Eli Drake comes out. He excuses Galloway from the ring because Ethan will be HIS opponent tonight. The way Drake sees it, they’re both dummies, yeah!

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EC3 Vs. Eli Drake

Eli Drake showed that he’s not all talk. He has some moves! He’s the King of the Mountain champion for a reason and is holding  his own against a proven perennial contender. Drake is sowing off his full move set and EC3 is having some trouble here. EC3 DOES manage to land a TK3 but nothing much comes from that. Ethan is looking for the big shot, the knockout punch, the One Percenter. Drake is not having that. He’s ducking and dodging and countering real wormy-like. Finally, Drake goes for BFT but Ethan pushes out of it and kind of sunset twists around Drake’s back and brings him down for a three count. Nice to see two of the top guys have a more technical match on Impact Wrestling!

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Vanguard One

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Matt Hardy just woke up one day and decided he was done being normal. His best friend is his drone. Yes, a motorized spy machine that he talks to and makes videos with. Matt and Jeff are in the back with Vanguard One and Matt asks the drone who he will be fighting next week. The drone shows a video of EC3. He then asks Vanguard One for a game plan and words pop up on the screen. Of course Matt has no choice but to excuse TNA cameras at this point. He’s a weirdo and I love it sometimes.

Maria, Maria

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Maria wants to hold a State of the Knockouts conversation to clear up a few things that have been going on. Allie is such a Yes Man and it’s starting to annoy Maria. Maria just wants to be the best leader she can be and prove to Dixie that she deserves to be in charge of the Knockouts division. Allie just wants to be her lap dog.

Lashley Is Big MAD

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Lashley has words for everyone; The Miracle, Moose, Eddie Edwards and the entire locker room. HE is the champ and he’s willing to fight anyone and everyone in his way. He is a destroyer and he doesn’t want anyone to ever forget.

State of the Knockouts Division

Believe

 

Allie uses that oh so sweet voice of hers to draw everyone’s attention. She introduces Maria and the First Lady of Professional Wrestling enters the ring. Surprisingly, Maria is upbeat and apologetic! She even apologizes for the way things have been lately. Jade & Gail aren’t hearing or buying it. They rightfully feel that they are owed title shots. Gail gets into it verbally with Sienna and Allie before she and Maria exchange words. Maria says that Gail is being selfish and that she should let these other women have their moments. Gail says she’ll beat every woman in the ring if that’s what it takes. Maria calls her bluff. She also says that whoever can beat Gail in a match will be rewarded handsomely. Marti Belle and Jade start brawling outside the ring, and from out of nowhere Madison Rayne attacks Gail Kim from behind. Referees and officials come break up the Marti/Jade fight. Madison has some words for Gail before the ring clears and all the woman head to the back.

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Rosemary & Bram

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Rosemary is quite the temptress or as Good Ol’ JR would say, the Jezebel! She crawls up on Bram in the back and declares herself a changed woman. Her lady parts flowing out of her two sizes too small top, the seductive grin. Bram tells her of his championship aspirations and she seems supportive (no pun intended but it’s there). Rosemary volunteers her services at ringside and a tongue tied Bram doesn’t exactly answer her, but he does go in for a kiss. I’ll take that as a no thank you, but we can talk later if ya know what I mean!

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Heels Gon’ Heel

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Mahabali Shera is minding his own business in the back when he’s attacked by The Tribunal minus Al Snow. They lay him out easy and even spit on him before they leave. Necessary? Probably not.

Bram Vs. Drew Galloway

Bram comes to the ring alone, sorry Rosemary. He and Drew are about the same size. I never really noticed that before. Maybe because Bram is just starting to get his push and Galloway is already the man. Bram is proving that he’s well worth the extra attention. He’s putting on a great show out there. Countering the Future Shock DDT and even dodging a Claymore. Bram has Drew on the top rope and he’s looking for something big. Drew has other plans. He fights back and grabs Bram from the top. He locks his fingers and jumps. Future Shock DDT from the top rope! Maybe Bram should’ve allowed Rosemary to accompany him.

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Drew Galloway Doesn’t Believe in Miracles

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Drew Galloway doesn’t have time to celebrate after his match with Bram, he has EC3 on the brain. Mike Bennett comes around and reminds him that he’s not in the finals yet and may end up facing The Miracle instead. Galloway reminds him of how unpredictable Moose is and that Moose can end up getting him fired. Bennett angrily runs of in search of Moose.

Eddie Edwards Vs. Lashley – Six Sides of Steel (Title Vs. Title)

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Before the match begins, Eddie flies from inside the ring and crashes down on Lashley outside. The match can’t begin until both men enter and the door is shut and locked. They seem to be content just duking it out without the cage. Eventually the two would make it into the ring and the cage would be locked.

Eddie is a two time X Division champion. He’s a high flying kind of guy, but Lashley has a way of keeping guys grounded. Lashley is throwing Edwards around with ease, slamming him into the cage, almost toying with him. After a huge Spinebuster, Lashley is looking to finish this. He posts up for a Spear. He charges at Edwards full speed and Eddie moves! The balance has shifted but it’s really just evened out. Eddie is looking for some dynamic offense. He climbs the cage and before he can do anything else, Lashley is underneath him standing on the top rope. Lashley is going for a powerbomb from the top but Eddie counters with a HUGE hurracarrana. After that, he’s in the corner setting up for a Boston Knee Party. He connects his knee to Lashley’s face but only gets a 2!

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Edwards doesn’t know what to do next. He may have tweaked his knee. He’s still looking for a high risk maneuver. He climbs up and perches on the top rope. Lashley nails him and presses him. He throws him into the cage door and it flings open. Edwards falls out the ring. As he tries to get back into the cage, Lashley Spears him and he falls down the stairs.

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Lashley walks over to Edwards and throws him back in the ring. Edwards is trying to recover and Lashley is having bad thoughts. Lashley grabs the Heavyweight title and brings it back in the ring with him. As he turns to tee off on the head of Edwards, Edwards lands a second Boston Knee Party! Another 2 count. Edwards goes back to what he knows, climbing.

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This time it wouldn’t end well. Lashley shakes the cage causing Edwards to be hung up at the top. Lashley lands a HUGE superplex and sets up for a Spear. He connects with the Spear and sets up for another. He sees the heart of the wolf and respects it. Before Edwards can unscramble his brain, Lashley is turning him inside out with a second Spear. That would prove to be enough for the win. Lashley is now a Unified Champion.

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After Lashley receives his titles he walks over to Edwards. In what appears to be a show of good sportsmanship, he lifts him up. He then immediately pushes him back down and lines up for a third Spear. EC3 won’t let this happen. He runs down to the rescue and starts wailing on the champ. Matt Hardy runs in and attacks Ethan. The two will be facing each other next week as the BFG playoffs continue. Now Drew Galloway wants in on the action and attacks Hardy. Mike Bennett and Moose come in and it’s a free for all!

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It doesn’t really make sense, but roll with it. Goodnight people.

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