SmackDown 7/14/16

Finally! It’s been a long time coming but we’re almost there. This is the final recording of SmackDown before we go LIVE! Hopefully they do it justice. It’s not that big a deal really, but it’s still special.

Kevin Owens Is Petty

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While this isn’t news, it’s true. Today we start our show with Kevin Owens holding a piece of mail. Owens opens this envelope and it’s a card from Sami Zayn. He claims that it was given to him for his son before the falling out. He finds a $20 bill and calls Zayn cheap and mentions that Zayn was almost the Godfather of his son. He promises that if Sami comes down to the ring during his match he’ll send him to the hospital. He’s also rocking a really nice Finn Balor shirt.

Limousine Ridin’

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It may be 2016 but there’s still a person with the last name Flair stylin’ and profilin’ while holding onto a title! Charlotte and Dana Brooke have arrived in grand style and they still have unfinished business with the self proclaimed Boss. Both Dana and Charlotte are convinced that what happened on RAW was a fluke and lightning will NOT strike twice. Sasha Banks had better be prepared.

Awesome

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The Miz and Maryse are in the back putting on makeup and preparing for a special edition of Miz TV. Looks like the IC champ doesn’t take Darren Young or his life coach too seriously. Will Miz end up eating his words?

The Lunatic Champ

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What is this Terminator look Dean is rolling with tonight? I don’t know about that…. but anyway, he’s ready to fight Kevin Owens for the 2,843 time on SmackDown!

Sasha Banks Vs. Dana Brooke (w/Charlotte)

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The first match of the night has title implications. If Sasha can win this match, she’ll be a shoo-in for a title shot.

Dana is in over her head. The Boss has her number and it’s pretty obvious. Charlotte’s distractions aren’t even enough to help Brooke as she taps out to the Bank Statement yet again.

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Sasha can’t celebrate for even five seconds before Charlotte is in the ring kicking her in the face. Sasha spills out the ring near the announce tables and Charlotte follows her. She picks Sasha up and flings her over the announce table. I mean, it looked pretty bad.

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Banks lay there for a while and everyone was checking on her in the most kayfabe of ways. Charlotte and Dana left with smiles on their faces.

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Dolph Ziggler Vs. Rusev

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Dolph Ziggler is a scrappy mid carder with dreams of being champ. He always gives his all and is looking to steal the show. Rusev is a consummate professional, disposing of his opponents quickly and painfully.

Rusev is in go mode. The last time he was this unbeatable, was the last time he was the United States champion. Only Super Cena could dismantle the Bulgarian Brute and he’s currently feuding with The Club. In tonight’s edition of Rusev Crush, Dolph Ziggler plays the watermelon and Rusev plays Gallagher. Rusev is rolling until Zack Ryder’s music hits. Enter the Long Island Iced Z.

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Well, kinda. After exchanging some words with Lana, he stands back and watches the match. Rusev has definitely taken notice and decides to bring the match to Ryder. With all three men standing outside the ring, Ryder takes a step back. Rusev picks up a limp Ziggler and throws him at Ryder. Then Rusev grabs both men one at a time and throws them in the ring. Ryder immediately slides back out to avoid getting either man disqualified (or maybe he just doesn’t want to be crushed yet). Rusev reaches through the ropes for Ryder and Ziggler wisely rolls him up quickly from behind to steal the victory.

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Rusev is furious. Ryder and Ziggler stand atop the ramp laughing at how mad Rusev is allowing himself to get. Rusev starts ripping away at the ring, tearing away two turnbuckle pads. He throws a chair at the side of the ring before beginning the cool down process.

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The Wyatt Compound

I talked about this in my RAW review here. Feel free to peruse around the site and find what fits you. I could’ve just copied and pasted but…meh.

ESPYs Spot

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In case you didn’t know, John Cena was the host of the ESPYs on ABC last night. I’d say he did a pretty decent job. They showed some clips from last night’s events that I guess was pretty cool for the more traditional sports fan. I’d suggest you check it out or at least the highlights.

Enzo & Cass Vs. AJ Styles & Karl Anderson (w/Luke Gallows)

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“At the end of the day, even salt looks like sugar.” – Enzo Amore

Words to live by spoken by the gift of gab himself, Enzo Amore. Enzo and Cass were at it again handing out SAWFT cards this week to The Club. Everyone is geared up for Battleground and this match is merely a prelude.

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Most of this match takes place between the mouthpieces behind each team, AJ Styles and Enzo Amore. AJ did a lot of work on the left leg of Enzo, but the numbers game is what sealed it.

The Club thwarted a tag to Big Cass several times in this matchup but the last time would be what ended the match. Enzo was catching a beatdown and in a last gasp effort, he lands a tornado DDT on AJ Styles. Both Superstars are reaching for their partners and Karl Anderson tries to run in, or at least that’s what he wants us to think. It’s just a ploy to distract the ref. Enzo reaches for the hot tag and Gallows pulls Cass down from the outside. The ref only sees Cass give Gallows the boot. Karl Anderson would come around and lay Cass out with a boot of his own. Enzo reaches over and Anderson snapped his head on the top rope. AJ capitalizes with a Calf Crusher and The Club wins.

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Brock Lesnar Vs. Randy Orton Build

More clips from Lesnar’s UFC brawl last weekend. Same thing they did on RAW. You can find RAW recaps here. Yes, this is the same link from above.

Tyler Breeze (w/Fandango) Vs. Kalisto (w/Sin Cara)

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Daaaaaang WWE! Back at it again with Breezango Vs. The Lucha Dragons. I truly hope that Breezango gets separated during the Draft. Tyler Breeze is finally comfortable on the main roster and if he can find a legitimate finishing move, he’ll be set! He and Kalisto build on what they started on RAW. They put a lot of effort into this very brief bout and the WWE Universe didn’t boo or go to the bathroom or get a hot dog or anything! Kalisto would ultimately hit a SDS to win the match.

Miz TV w/ Special Guests Darren Young & Bob Backlund

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I don’t know whose idea it was to do this but putting the IC champ in the ring with the #1 contender for his title is CLEARLY a problem waiting to happen. But honestly, I’m here for it! The Miz starts off by letting all the young people in attendance know exactly who Bob Backlund is, paying homage to him with a video of his career highlights. Mr. Backlund gets a standing ovation and stands to acknowledge the arena. The Miz claims he used the WWE Network to find these highlights, and that he did the same for Darren Young. This was the result.

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Nothing. I guess we’re just gonna ignore that fact that he was once a WWE Tag Team champion. Miz (and most of us actually) believes that Darren didn’t WIN the Battle Royal on RAW but was just lucky enough that everyone else lost. Bob Backlund tells Darren not to listen to Miz because Miz will never be a great champion due to the fact that he’s so disrespectful. The Miz and Maryse decide that play time is over (or as Matt Hardy in TNA would say, OVAH!) and begin taking shots at Coach Backlund. Maryse has probably the worst one liner of the night and Darren Young has heard enough.

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1982 called and they say, “You’re old.” – Maryse

Young gets all up in the grill of Miz. Miz says he has a quick monologue that would sum this conversation up but before he can speak, Darren pushes the mic down. Miz tells Darren to never touch his microphone again. Darren takes the microphone right out of his hand and asks Miz what he plans to do about it. Miz takes his wife by the hand and the two leave. Young’s eyes are full of intensity and he’s ready to go. Battleground couldn’t be any sooner.

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Draft Update

But first, look at these pictures of R-Truth showing Shane McMahon how to dab. Just WOW.

 

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It looks like Shane has picked his GM and we’ll get to see who that is on Monday.

Boss Treatment

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Sasha is still in a bit of a tizzy after Charlotte’s attack earlier. She’s in the back with trainers going through what looks like a concussion test. Charlotte and Dana drop by to say hello and such. The Boss is upset but ready to fight. The title is so close she can almost feel it around her waist. Charlotte turns into Bad News Barrett for a second and breaks some news to Sasha. Their match at Battleground will be a tag team match. Sasha has about a week and a half to find a partner. Anybody want to be a co-manager?

Dean Ambrose Vs. Kevin Owens

Although we’re not expecting much of anything new from this match, it IS the main event and should be respected. Although I can say for sure that in 2014 when Reigns was on the rise, he could’ve been booked against anybody and had a good match. I think I miss Roman Reigns! That’s beside the point.

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Our guys enter the ring and just before the match starts, Seth Rollins music hits. I guess he wanted a closer look at Ambrose before his title match on Monday.

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It couldn’t have been but 45 seconds into the match when Seth interferes. He sneaks up on Ambrose and beats him into the ground. He throws him into the ring and continues wailing on him. Kevin Owens doesn’t know what to do and then…

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Sami Zayn comes down to get some! He and Ambrose clear the ring and we hit a commercial break.

Dean Ambrose & Sami Zayn Vs. Seth Rollins & Kevin Owens

So yeah, the predictable thing happened. Someone came out during the commercial break and made this an official match. Honestly, I think these guys mailed it in this week. I’m not even mad though. I mean, it doesn’t help that we keep having these tag matches where the guys are not tag partners so they don’t wrestle tag style or with tag team moves. No shade, it happens every now and again. These guys and gals are on the road almost every night and they’re the draw. They’re the Superstars everyone pays to see and we all have off days.

With all of that being said, the end of this match was right on point! Dean dove through the ropes and KO caught him. Owens threw him right into the steel steps. Zayn and Rollins were brawling it out in the ring and after a missed Helluva kick, Rollins hit a pedigree and won it.

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Owens wasn’t finished. He ambushed Zayn after the match and tried to Powerbomb him on the apron. Flashes of NXT, am I right? Before anything crazy could happen, Dean Ambrose came by to save the day. He took out Owens and looked back at Seth in the ring. Fisticuffs!!! Ambrose would get the better of Rollins but before he could hit Dirty Deeds Rollins managed to slip away. Rollins may be winning several battles but I’m not sure about the war. We’ll be seeing another battle on Monday.

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